Information
| Year: | 2004 |
| Rating: | 6.8(64542) |
| Listed in: | Comedy, Romance |
| Directed by: | Peter Segal |
| Actors: | Adam Sandler Rob Schneider Sean Astin Dan Aykroyd Drew Barrymore Lusia Strus |
| "The ultimate bachelor will face the ultimate challenge." | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Peter Segal | |
| Actors | |
| Adam Sandler | as Henry Roth |
| Rob Schneider | as Ula |
| Sean Astin | as Doug Whitmore |
| Dan Aykroyd | as Dr. Keats |
| Allen Covert | as Ten Second Tom |
| Blake Clark | as Marlin Whitmore |
| Pomaika'i Brown | as Nick |
| Joe Nakashima | as Old Hawaiian Man |
| Peter Dante | as Security Guard |
| Dom Magwili | as Security Guard |
| Jonathan Loughran | as Jennifer |
| J.D. Donaruma | as Pablo |
| Wayne Federman | as Patient |
| Kent Avenido | as Cook's Helper |
| Glen Chin | as Cafe Regular |
| Aukuso Gus Puluti Sr. | as Cafe Regular |
| Christian Guiterrez | as Ula's Kid |
| James Lee | as Ula's Kid |
| Keali'i Olmos | as Ula's Kid |
| Tache Uesugi | as Ula's Kid |
| Esmond Chung | as Sheriff |
| Lin Yan | as Coroner |
| David Suapaia | as Stacy's Husband |
| Peter Chen | as Caddy |
| Kevin James | as Factory Worker |
| Michael K. Osborn | as Sea Lion Trainer |
| Albert Chi | as Waiter |
| Brian L. Keaulana | as Jet Skiier |
| Americus Abesamis | as Cafe Regular |
| Paul Edney | as Seaplane Pilot |
| Darin Fujimori | as Fisherman |
| Anthony Patricio | as Hawaiian Trucker |
| Mark Pinkosh | as Repairman |
| John Patrick Shulak | as Tourist |
| Actresses | |
| Drew Barrymore | as Lucy Whitmore |
| Lusia Strus | as Alexa |
| Amy Hill | as Sue |
| Maya Rudolph | as Stacy |
| Sharon Omi | as Cafe Regular |
| Kylie Moore | as Ula's Kid |
| Lynn Collins | as Linda |
| Kristin Bauer | as Female Firefighter |
| Ishtar Uhvana | as Salon Worker |
| Brenda Vivian | as Salon Patron |
| Chantell D. Christopher | as Salon Patron |
| Nika Williams | as Salon Patron |
| Nectar Rose | as Blonde in Office |
| Jackie Sandler | as Dentist |
| Linda Segal | as Patient in Dentist Office |
| Nicola Hersh | as Woman in Car |
| Virginia Reece | as Red Head |
| Melissa Lawner | as Tan Friend |
| Katheryn Winnick | as Young Woman |
| Marguerite Cazin | as Henry & Lucy's Daughter |
| Denise Bee | as Ula's Wife |
| Jessica Bowman | as Tamy |
| Michelle Lee | as Woman |
| Missi Pyle | as Noreen |
| Darlena Roberts | as Amnesia Patient |
| Meilinda Cecilia Soerjoko | as Airport Passanger |
| Anne Stedman | as Ex-Girlfriend |
Movie info
| Languages: | English, Hawaiian, Mandarin, Turkish |
| Filming dates: | 17 March 2003 - ? |
| Budget: | USD 75,000,000 |
| Gross: |
USA - 99,348,370 USD (7 March 2004) UK - 7,708,648 GBP (30 May 2004) Worldwide - 75,577,026 USD (except USA) Italy - 896,633 EUR (4 July 2004) Netherlands - 151,424 EUR (13 June 2004) |
| Plot: | Henry Roth is a veterinarian living in Hawaii who enjoys the company of vacationing women. He leaves the playboy life behind after he falls for Lucy, who suffers from short-term memory loss. Since she can never remember meeting him, Henry has to romance Lucy every single day and hope that she falls for him. |
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Original Soundtracks
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"Wouldn't It Be Nice" Written by Brian Wilson , Mike Love and Tony Asher Performed by The Beach Boys Courtesy of Capitol Records Under license from EMI Film & Television Music "Pressure Drop" Written by Toots Hibbert (as Frederick Hibbert) Performed by Toots & The Maytals Courtesy of The Sanctuary Records Group "From tha Chuuuch to da Palace" Written by Snoop Dogg (as Calvin Broadus), Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo and R. Kelly Performed by Snoop Dogg Courtesy of Priority Records Under license from EMI Film & Television Music "Another Day" Written by Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney Performed by Paul McCartney Courtesy of MPL Communications, Inc. "Over the Rainbow" Written by E.Y. Harburg and Harold Arlen Performed by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole Courtesy of The Mountain Apple Company Hawaii "Could You Be Loved" Written by Bob Marley Performed by Bob Marley & The Wailers Courtesy of The Island Def Jam Music Group Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Is This Love" Written by Bob Marley Performed by Bob Marley & The Wailers Courtesy of The Island Def Jam Music Group Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Amber" Written by Nick Hexum Performed by 311 Courtesy of Volcano Entertainment III, LLC Under license from BMG Film & Television Music "Aloha Ka Manini" Written by Lot Kauwe Performed by The Makaha Sons of Ni'ihau Courtesy of Poki Records Under license from Tropical Music, Inc. "Hawaii Five-O" Written by Morton Stevens "Throw Away the Gun" Written by Jason Hershey Performed by O-Shen Courtesy of Hobo House on the Hill Records / The Mountain Apple Company Hawaii "Hold Me Now" Written by Alannah Currie, Joe Leeway (as Joseph Leeway) and Tom Bailey (as Thomas Bailey) Produced by Tony Kanal Performed by Wayne Wonder Courtesy of VP Records/Atlantic Recording Corp. "Slave to Love" Written by Bryan Ferry Produced by Tony Kanal Performed by Elan Backing Vocals by Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani appears courtesy of Interscope Records "My Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua Hawaii" Written by Johnny Noble, Bill Cogswell and Tommy Harrison Performed by Leon Redbone with Ringo Starr Courtesy of August Records, Inc. "My Sweet Sweet" Traditional Performed by The Maile Serenaders Courtesy of Hula Records "Do You Realize??" Written by Wayne Coyne, Steven Drozd, Michael Ivins and Dave Fridmann Performed by The Flaming Lips Courtesy of Warner Bros. Records Inc. By Arrangement with Warner Strategic Marketing "Rub a Dub" Written by Nick Hexum Performed by 311 Courtesy of Volcano Entertainment III, LLC Under license from BMG Film & Television Music "Happy Birthday to You" Written by Mildred J. Hill and Patty S. Hill "Underneath It All" Written by Gwen Stefani and David A. Stewart (as Dave Stewart) Performed by No Doubt Courtesy of Interscope Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "I Melt with You" Written by Robbie Grey (as Robert James Grey), Stephen Walker (as Stephen James Walker), Mick Conroy (as Michael Frances Conroy), Gary McDowell (as Gary Frances McDowell) and Richard Ian Brown Produced by Nick Hexum Performed by Jason Mraz Background vocals by Zachary Hexum (as Zack Hexum) Jason Mraz appears courtesy of Elektra Entertainment Group Zack Hexum appears courtesy of What I Have Records "Hands Off She's Mine" Written by Roger Charlery, Andy Cox , Everett Morton, David Steele and David Wakeling (as Dave Wakeling) Performed by English Beat Courtesy of London-Sire Records Ltd. By Arrangement with Warner Strategic Marketing "Lips Like Sugar" Written by Ian McCulloch , Will Sergeant (as William Sergeant), Les Pattinson (as Leslie Pattinson) and Pete DeFreitas (as Pete De Freitas) Produced by Nick Hexum Performed by Seal (featuring Mikey Dread) Seal appears courtesy of Warner Bros. Records "Friday I'm in Love" Written by Robert Smith (as Robert J. Smith), Simon Gallup, Porl Thompson (as Paul S. Thompson), Boris Williams and Perry Bamonte Produced by Nick Hexum Performed by Dryden Mitchell Courtesy of DreamWorks Records "Your Love (L.O.V.E. Reggae Mix)" Written by John Frederick Spinks Produced by Wyclef Jean & Jerry 'Wonder' Duplessis Performed by Wyclef Jean (featuring Eve ) Additional vocals by Carl Restivo Wyclef Jean appears courtesy of Clef Records LLC/J Records Eve appears courtesy of Aftermath/Interscope Records "Ula's Luau Song" Written by Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider "Baby" Written by Wyclef Jean, Jerry 'Wonder' Duplessis (as Jerry Duplessis) and Sheldon Harris Performed by Wyclef Jean Courtesy of Clef Records LLC/J Records "Forgetful Lucy" Written by Adam Sandler , Allen Covert and Tim Herlihy "Drive" Written by Ric Ocasek Produced and Performed by Ziggy Marley Backing vocals by Natasha Pearce Ziggy Marley appears courtesy of Arista Associated Labels "Every Breath You Take" Written by Sting Produced and Performed by UB40 Courtesy of Virgin Records, Ltd. "They Call the Wind Mariah" Written by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe Performed by Harve Presnell Courtesy of Paramount Pictures "Love Song" Written by Robert Smith (as Robert J. Smith), Laurence Tolhurst, Simon Gallup, Porl Thompson (as Paul S. Thompson), Boris Williams and Roger O'Donnell Produced and Performed by 311 Courtesy of Volcano Entertainment III, LLC "True" (end title) Written by Gary Kemp Produced by Will i Am Performed by Will i Am and Stacy Ferguson (as Fergie) Courtesy of A&M Records |
Goofs
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Continuity: After Ula has been stitched up by Henry, he pulls on his shirt. In one shot he has pulled it on over one arm, but in the next shot, he pulls it on again. Continuity: When Alexa and Doug are waving goodbye to Henry at the boat dock, Alexa is wearing her watch on her right wrist; a moment later as she grabs Doug's behind the watch is on her left wrist. SYNC: We see an Epson Stylus inkjet printer but hear the sound of a dot-matrix printer. Continuity: When Doug and Marlin are talking to Henry, Doug has sunglasses on. But when it cuts back to Marlin, the sunglasses are nowhere in sight. Fact errors: There are no walruses at Sea Life Park in Hawaii. Continuity: At one point we see Lucy at the grill through the kitchen window and there is a tall glass drink on her table. Moments later, when someone approaches her table, the glass is nowhere to be seen. SYNC: The type of penguin used for the film was an African Penguin. The sound effect used is not the actual vocalization that bird. The actual call they make sounds like a donkey braying. Continuity: At one point in the diner when the waitress takes a guy's order, he says he'll have the pancakes and she takes the menu away from him. In the next shot, he is in the background and still holding the menu open. Continuity: Near the end when the patient asks Lucy what he's doing, she tells him he's painting a picture and we see him holding a paint brush. But when we see the picture he "painted" it was actually done in crayon. Continuity: The lemon wedge on the glass of ice tea when Henry first meets Lucy. Continuity: When Ula takes his foot off Henry's pillow, there is mud. As he removes his foot and the screen shot is taken outward, the mud disappears. Continuity: When Ula is beating up Henry, Lucy is taking off her sunglasses and pulls off to the left-hand side of the road. In the next shot, Lucy is farther away and driving up in the middle of the road. Fact errors: When Lucy is being ticketed at the café she runs to the newspaper machine to verify the date. She manages to open the machine without inserting any coins. Continuity: During the Vikings football game, the announcer informs the viewers that it is fourth down. However, the down marker on the goal line indicates that it is just third down. Continuity: The first time Henry tricks Lucy by pulling her over, she passes him twice on the road. Continuity: Alexa is dripping wet from jumping in the pool and diving in the fish barrel but when she leans over Jocko, she is dry. Continuity: In the first shot of Henry, Lucy, Doug and Marlin driving to the Callahan Institute, Henry and Lucy are sitting in the back seat and Lucy's hair is blowing around because the window is down. In all other shots of them driving, Lucy's hair isn't blowing around anymore and no one is ever shown rolling up the window. Revealing mistakes: When Henry is taking the dingy to shore after his sailing mishap at the beginning of the film, he leaves the sailboat anchored but with the sails still up. Continuity: As Lucy is driving towards Henry's jumper cable trouble, the camera shows her driving with the driver-side towards the island interior passing some parked trucks. As the shot changes, the close up shot shows the driver-side of the car facing towards the ocean. Continuity: After Henry has stitched up Ula's side, it is very red. However, when Ula and Henry are in Henry's that same night or the next, Ula's shark bite looks mostly healed, almost like a scar, without any visible stitches. Continuity: At the end when he turns the boat around, before the turn all the sails are up. After the turn, only the main is up, the jib is down. Continuity: When Ula is swinging at the golf ball, there is no scar or cut on his stomach from the shark. Afterwards, you see that there is one after they notice the stitches open. Revealing mistakes: When Ula is on the boat when Henry is repairing it, he has only the slightest white scar. It is only three days after he got bitten and it is only a pale, nearly invisible scar. When he falls through the boards and says his stitches reopened, that is nearly impossible seeing as how it was only a scar and there was no stitches. CHAR: A police officer tickets Lucy for having expired license plates while her truck is legally parked in the parking lot of the pancake house. Since the parking lot is on private property, and Lucy is not driving the truck when the police officer tickets the expired license plate, he does not have a legal right to write her a ticket. (In some cities police can cite cars on private parking lots.) CHAR: Lucy wears the same outfit every day, and her dad washes the outfit as part of the routine. However, there is no reason for Lucy to wear the same outfit as she changes her mind doing other tasks such as what she makes her waffles into and what she paints on the wall of the garage. |
Quotes
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Marlin: Doug, once again, off the juice. Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake. Lucy: What are you doing? Henry: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you... Lucy: You were going for a feelski! Henry: All right, I'm sorry... But this is like the twenty third time we've made out already and... they're getting blue! [repeated line] Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom! [at the Callahan Institute] Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again! [Lucy walks by quietly] Security Guard 1: What the hell's her problem? Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, brah. Security Guard 1: Oh yeah, I suck at this job! Lucy: It's gonna be alright, Luce. Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you. Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him. [Lucy looks at Henry] Henry: Sorry I'm not better looking. Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy? Marlin: yea. Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest? Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst. Lucy: [to Henry] Did we have sex? [Marlin and Doug look at Henry] Henry: No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows [Marlin and Doug turn away] Henry: We want to! [Marlin and Doug look again] Henry: Just kidding. Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good. Ula: Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple. Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy. Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room. Henry: Okay. What does that have to do with this? Relax. Hey! Hey! Help me, please! Ula: Stupid haole! Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks. Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts. [to his children] Ula: You kids suck; you're good at everything! Henry: Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today? [to Jocko] Henry: Remember to use a condom, or in your case, a Hefty bag. Doug: [gives Henry a box] Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip. Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right. Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it? Henry: Um, I guess. [Doug grabs the box] Marlin: Doug! [Henry is pretending to cry to get Lucy's attention] Lucy: I wonder what's the matter with him. Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me. Ula's Kid: Hey, Dad. Ula: Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau. Ula's Kid: But your stitches are bleeding. [while playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist] Ula: It must have been my huge back swing. You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing? Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something. Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful. Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway? Ula: A shark bit me. Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro! Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out. Henry: Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh. Old Hawaiian Man: [about Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with. Henry: Ha ha ha. Shut up! Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic. Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your spam! Lucy: [to Henry] Can I have one last first kiss? Alexa: [to Henry] I guess I prefer sausage to taco. Ula: Come on, I need some details. You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on. Ula's Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho? Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio. Henry: You're the state idiot of Hawaii. Marlin: [to Doug] Okay, okay, okay! Enough with the titty dance! Nick: What did Sue say? Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver. Dr. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak. Henry: Good. How's my temporal lobe looking there, Doc? Dr. Keats: Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you? Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that! Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking. Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch! Lucy: Yeah, keep running! [Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house] Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now. Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food? Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. Henry: Were you gonna eat that? Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet. Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you. Henry: Okay. Lucy: Okay. [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car... Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around. Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! [first lines] Young Woman: So tell me. How was Hawaii? Tan Friend: It was unbelievable. Young Woman: Oh yeah? What happened? Tan Friend: I met this guy. Red Head: [on the phone] It was the best week of my life. [last lines] Henry: Grandpa's here. Lucy: Hi dad. Update Video: Red Sox win series!... Just kidding. Update Video: Schwarzenegger becomes governor of California!... Not kidding. Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first. Henry: That's my joke. Doug: [to Henry] Well, I may not able to kick your ath but my thithter thure can. Update Video: April: Snoop quits weed. Update Video: May: Snoop back on weed. [repeated line] Lucy: Nothing beats a first kiss. Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds. Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible. Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds. Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom. Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa. Linda: Linda. Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection. Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups! Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch! Ula: [to Henry] My shirt size is medium husky. Doug: [flexing his pecs in the mirror] Hey Trathie, how you doin'? Yeah, well things changed thince high thcool. Henry: [after Ula speaks in Hawaiian] Thanks buddy. What does it mean, again? Ula: Bring me back a t-shirt Henry: Actually I'm going on a trip in a little while to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors. Doug: Thounds kind of fruity. Henry: Thank you. Doug: How long'th it going to take? Henry: Uh... about a year. Doug: I gueth you won't mith days like thith. Henry: Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad. Marlin: What are you trying to say? Henry: Well, when you guys tell her, she's not just finding out about the accident. She's finding out that her life is basically a setup. I think that's what freaks her out the most. Doug: Oh, you're an exthpert now? Henry: No. I'm just saying I wish there was another way besides: "Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's some pictures of your broken head." Doug: You wanna broken head, huh thmart guy? Marlin: Why? You gonna give it to him? Doug: No, Daddy, I thought you wath gonna do it. Henry: Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways. Marlin: [glaring at Doug] Don't go just 'cause my thon is thychotic. Henry: Good night. Sweet dreams. Keep 'em dry there Doug. Doug: Very funny. Ula: [dressed up as Lucy, with a coconut bra on] Aquariums make me super horny! Henry: Pardon me. Sorry to interrupt, but I notice we were both eating alone and I thought perhaps I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi for your waffle house? Lucy: Oh, that would be nice, but I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry. Henry: You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me? Lucy: No. I'm not. Henry: What's his name then? Lucy: Ringo. Henry: Is his last name, Starr? Lucy: No. McCartney. Henry: The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole! Henry: [starts singing off key to "Wouldn't It Be Nice", then breaks out in tears] WHY would you do this to me? Henry: [leans against the boat wheel and sobs] Oh my god, is he trying to tell me something? Ula's Kid: What's wrong with that turtle? Henry: He has lung problems cause he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right Ula? Ula: What? I don't smoke weed. Alexa: I am grouchy due to lack of recent physical intimacy. Henry: Oooo... Alexa: Shut up, because here comes one-time only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked. [Jocko the seal gives a disgusted growl] Alexa: Next move is up to you. I may not be as limber as I once was... but yeah, I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment. [Snaps her neck] Henry: I don't know if you realize, I'm not into guys. Henry: Let me ask you something, Alexa. If you made a promise to a girl's dad that you would not see her anymore... would you consider that like a binding promise? Alexa: Absolutely. Henry: Yeah? Alexa: But then again, there are always ways around such things. Henry: Like? Alexa: For example. If I promised a woman's father I would not see her... I would simply shut my eyes, while she serviced my manhood. [Jocko the walrus, slaps his face] Henry: That's actually a cool way to look at it. And a very gross way. [Alexa's smile drops] Lucy: [to Doug and Marlin] I can't believe it... Bruce Willis is a ghost! Dr. Keats: Callahan Institute is the leading brain injury clinic in the Pacific Rim. We are funded out of Sandusky Ohio by T.B. Callahan, the automotive components tycoon... [fade out] Henry: And why is your foot on my pillow? Ula: Sorry brah [removes to reveal a dirty footprint and brushes it off, then sits on the pillow] Henry: And I don't want your ass on it either! Ula: Hey! Kikikuloa! No flippies off the dock! You could get hurt! Let the Master show you how it's done. [after doing a painful belly flop off a dock] One of you kids go down there and find my nuts! Jet Skiier: [Henry jumps on a jet ski] What the hell is wrong with you? Henry: Just keep going, I'll give you twenty dollars. Jet Skiier: You got it. How's your balls? Henry: Killing me. Hit it. Henry: Can I ask you guys something? What's gonna happen down the line? Someday she's gonna wake up and look in the mirror and notice her face's aged ten years overnight. Marlin: You know something, Henry? I worry about that every day of my damn life. Young Woman: So, you must be Lucy's friend. The one who made the tape. Lucy: I think he's more than my friend. You're my boyfriend, right? Henry: Yes, ma'am. Stacy: So every day you help her to realize what happened and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it... then you get her to fall in love with you again? Henry: Yes, ma'am. Stacy: [softly, almost beneath her breath] Gosh! [a longing sigh, then back slaps her husband's chest right over his heart] You asshole! You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore. Jennifer: [everyone breaks out in laughter] You're in trouble! [even more laughter] I gotta go tinkle. Lucy: I don't know who you are, Henry... but I dream about you almost every night. [apprehensive pause] Why? Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it? Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense. Henry: You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams... and apparently, I'm the man of yours. Lucy: [barely able to contain herself, she reaches out and shakes his hand] Henry. It's nice to meet you. Henry: Lucy, it's nice to meet you too. Ten Second Tom: [just as they are about to kiss] Hi, I'm Tom! Henry: Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that! Ula: How do you think I get the dolphins to do double-flips and play with the white kids? Henry: Hey! Tattoo Face! Nick: Hey, Peanut Butter Cups! Henry: Ha-ha-ha... Shut up. Dr. Keats: Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome. That way she wouldn't remember last night when I called her mother, a loud obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass. Blonde in Office: When I asked for his phone number, he told me he's... Woman #1: Married. Woman #2: Gay. Blonde in Office: I'll never forget my week... Woman #1: ...With Henry Roth. Red Head: [on phone] Henry Roth Woman in Car: Harry. Harry Paratesticles. Man: [on phone] Henry Roth... Linda: Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent? Henry: I need you to get me two fish from the barrel. Now. Alexa: Okay. Henry: Just hang in there. Alexa: Here. Henry: It's gonna be alright. That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel please. Okay, there. That's good. Thank you. Come on, buddy. Take it. Take it. Alexa: He's not responding! Henry: I know, Alexa! Sorry I smacked you with that. You needed the fish-slap to calm down. Do you understand? Alexa: Yes. Henry: Are you calm? Alexa: Yes. Fish-slap calm me. Henry: [on First Date #1] You know, why don't you try this? It's a kind of hinge. Lucy: Now, why didn't I think of that? Henry: You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself. Lucy: You're right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective. Henry: Fresh eye never hurts. Lucy: I'm Lucy. Henry: Yes. I'm Henry Roth. Nice to meet you. Lucy: Nice to meet you. Henry: Okay, well, I had a great time. Lucy: Me too. Henry: Okay. Lucy: Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning, same time? Because I teach art class at ten. Henry: Oh, really? Lucy: Yeah. Henry: I wish I could make it, but, yes, I will be there. Lucy: Take care. Henry: Okay. Lucy: One for the road. It is fishy. Henry: Got you good. Aloha. Lucy: Aloha. Henry: See you tomorrow. Oh, my God. Lucy: Oh, my goodness. Henry: Shit. I had a bee on me. Lucy: Alright. Henry: It was a big one. Old Hawaiian Man: [talks in Hawaiian] Which means "look at those two shit heads". Ula: Dude, I met this sexy blonde tax attorney from Florida at Starbucks today. I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island. You want her number? Henry: You pimping tourists for me again, Ula? Ula: Yes! I live vicariously through you, remember? My life sucks. Now, come on give her the Waikikiki sneaky behind the cheeky. Caddy: [to Ula] That was the stupidest looking swing I've ever seen. Noreen: I'd like to do something extra fun tonight. Ula: Uh-oh. Henry: Actually I'm not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you, because there's no alcohol in these drinks. Sadly, I've used this technique many times. It helps lovely tourists such as yourself loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake all night and have guilt free vigorous sex with me. Noreen: Wow! Henry: I was petting my walrus all morning and I was thinking of you the whole time. Lucy: Okay, pervert. I think that you should leave. Henry: What? I was just joking around because of what we talked about yesterday Lucy: Yesterday? I've never even met you. Henry: Wait, uh... What is going on? I was kidding around with you! What's happening here? Is she crazy or something? Sue: Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people. Henry: Okay. Sue: About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident. She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple. Her Father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury. She lost her short term memory. Henry: So she can't remember anything? Sue: No, no, no. She has all of her long term memory. That's a different part of the brain. Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers. She just can't retain any new information. It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps. Henry: Hold on, here. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl so she would stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl? Sue: I wish I was making this up! She has no memory that she ever met you. Henry: What about the pineapple thing? Sue: She says that every day, because each morning she wakes up thinking it's October thirteenth of last year. She comes here for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays, and October thirteenth was a Sunday. She has no idea it's more than a year later. Henry: She reads the newspaper though. Sue: It's a special paper her Father puts on their porch every night. It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed up. Lucy does the same thing everyday. Lucy, Doug: [sings] Happy birthday to you. Lucy: [spoken] And you don't look a day over twenty five. Marlin: Yeah, right. And Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced. Doug: What are you talking about? I use a herb supplement that can be purchased at any health food store. Check this out. Check out these glutes. Rock hard, baby. Pretty sweet, huh. Marlin: Stop it! You're gonna make me throw up on the cake. Ula: You meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt. Henry: She's got brain damage, you psycho. Ula: Okay, I'll give you that one. But I think it'd be healthy for you. You haven't allowed yourself to connect with a girl for many years. Henry: I appreciate your interest Ula, but leave me alone. Ula: Hey, you'd be doing exactly what her father does: Giving her a wonderful day. Then when it's time for you to go on your big boat trip, poof, you just leave. She'll never even know you're gone. Henry: See I'm not sure about the "poofing" part, because I'm not a very big poofer. Could you demonstrate a good poof for me. Ula: Quit busting my coconuts for five seconds. Henry: Alright. Would you stop poofing on that joint and do some work! Ula: Okay. Let's get this sucker ready. Then we're gonna take her out for a spin. Henry: I bet you twenty bucks, I can get her to have breakfast with me again. Nick: You're on. Henry: [to Lucy] I drew this, it's a picture of a father and son fishing off a fishing boat. [Lucy speaks in Hawaiian] You don't speak English. Lucy: [to Henry] I just want to eat you up tomorrow and the next day. Doug: [to Henry] Anything with Lucy is a one night stand, numb nuts. Henry: Hi. Sorry for the delay. Should be a few minutes. Lucy: No problem. No worries. Henry: Where are you coming form? Breakfast? Lucy: Yeah. Henry: How was it? Lucy: I had waffles. They were delicious. Henry: I like making little houses out of waffles. Lucy: You do? Henry: That's my thing. What's your name? Lucy: Lucy. Henry: Hi, I'm Henry. Henry: [to Penguin] Okay, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Thank you. Right there. Perfect. Lucy: Oh, shit. Henry: Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my God! Oh no! Okay that didn't work. Shit your pants? So did I! Doug: Is this the guy? Marlin: Yeah. Mr. Roth, I have one simple request. Stay away from my daughter. Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] Absolutely. I just, I think I hurt her feelings and I don't want it to end like that. Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this! [Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down] Henry: Calm down, little fella! Doug: I'm gonna kill you. You're a dead man. Okay I'm calm! I'm calm! [pause] Doug: I coulda whooped his ass, Daddy but this gravel - I siped on it a fwell. Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes. Doug: Cheap shot, Dad. Ten Second Tom: Aren't you a little old to still have wet dreams? [memory erases] Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom! Henry: I'll see ya around. Lucy: Okay. [puzzled pause] Lucy: Really? That's it? Henry: That's what? Lucy: All that flirting and phony "I can't read" stuff, and then you're not gonna ask me out or for my phone number? Henry: I can't read. Lucy: Oh, shut up. That was one of the goofiest things I've ever seen in my life, but I thought, "Hey, if this guy is so desperate to meet me, he might be worth talking to." But then I get stiffed. Henry: No, no, no, this is what happened. I... Lucy: Mahalo for the ego boost. [drives off leaving Henry sputtering] Lucy: Yeah, that's right. Take that! And that! And that! And that! And that! Henry: You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough. Lucy: Are you okay? Henry: Yes. Lucy: Okay, I'll be right back. Hey! Come here! Henry: No, no, no. I think he's had enough. I'm sorry. Ula: My eye! Henry: You got him! Lucy: Not good enough. Ula: Oh, Kamehameha! Henry: He learned his lesson! Dr. Keats: It could be worse. Lucy: Yeah? How? Dr. Keats: I think you should meet ten second Tom. Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom. Henry: Henry. Marlin: Marlin. Doug: Doug. Lucy: Lucy. Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them? Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day... Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom. Henry: Henry. Ten Second Tom: Hi. Marlin: Marlin. Henry: Officer, I think there's been a misunderstanding. Police Officer: I don't. [repeated line] Doug: Check this out. Henry: [on video] The part of you for this reenactment will be played by my good friend, Ula. Ula: [on video] Aloha. Sorry about your brain. Nick: [on video] Since you lost your memory, I became governor of Hawaii. No, just kidding. I'm too smart. Henry: Jocko, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Jocko. Lucy: Wow! Thank you. Nice to meet you. He is awesome! He is so smart. Henry: Check this out. Jocko, what does the teapot do when the water's ready? Very good. Lucy: Hey, can I ask him a question? Henry: Go ahead. Lucy: Jocko, do you think that Henry and I are ready to take our relationship to the next level? You sure about that? And do you think that I should bring him into the other room and take advantage of him? I saw that hand gesture. And I'm glad you did it. Henry: Really? Henry: [to Lucy] Good morning. Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey. Okay, I know this is hard for you to understand right now, but we are actually seeing each other. Lucy: Stalker! Henry: No, no, no. Don't you remember me a little? Dr. Keats: [to Marlin] Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome. That way she wouldn't remember last night when I called her mother a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass. Henry: [to Jocko] I'm gonna miss you buddy, but I gotta get the hell off this island. Marlin: You sure you don't want to take Doug with you? Henry: Hey! What the heck are you guys doing here? Henry: Do you have any idea who I am? Lucy: No. Henry: No. That sucks. Ula: Really? Even though in 10-15 years she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating, for you? Henry: What, are you nuts? Your wife's right over there. Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu! Patient #1: Do you know who that guy is? Patient #2: Dude, I don't even know who I am. Ula: [to Henry] You're such a lau lau. Henry: I just want to try something that will help her remember me. Lucy: [to Marlin] It's a video tape. Lucy: [to Henry] I've never even met you. |
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