Information
| Year: | 2009 |
| Rating: | 6.0(10920) |
| Listed in: | Comedy |
| Directed by: | Will Gluck |
| Actors: | Nicholas D'Agosto Eric Christian Olsen David Walton Sarah Roemer Molly Sims Danneel Harris |
| "2 Guys. 300 Girls. You Do the Math." | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Will Gluck | |
| Actors | |
| Nicholas D'Agosto | as Shawn Colfax |
| Eric Christian Olsen | as Nick Brady |
| David Walton | as Dr. Rick |
| Adhir Kalyan | as Brewster |
| Philip Baker Hall | as Coach Byrnes |
| John Michael Higgins | as Coach Keith |
| Jake Sandvig | as Downey |
| Collins Pennie | as Adam |
| Michael Blaiklock | as Mookie |
| James Earl | as Turk |
| Keeshan Giles | as Kyle |
| Alan Ritchson | as Bruce |
| Casey Graf | as Guy |
| Dan Fine | as Kreg |
| Steven West | as Bill |
| Brian Unger | as Male Commentator |
| Masi Oka | as Eagle |
| Nicholas James | as Chester |
| Lance Kerfuffle | as Mies Monahan |
| Andrew Fleming | as Klete Vanderjack |
| Dave Johnson | as Fan |
| Anthony Lipe-Ladenheim | as Panther Mascot |
| Carlos Nava | as Student |
| Jacob Newton | as Male Cheerleader |
| Justin Ruse | as Panther Cheerleader |
| Efrem P. Towns | as Football Player |
| Rob Watt | as Student |
| Actresses | |
| Sarah Roemer | as Carly Barkley |
| Molly Sims | as Diora |
| Danneel Harris | as Bianca |
| AnnaLynne McCord | as Gwyneth |
| Juliette Goglia | as Poppy |
| Smith Cho | as Beth |
| Margo Harshman | as Sylvia |
| Hayley Marie Norman | as Angela |
| Nicole Tubiola | as Marcy |
| Edie McClurg | as Ms. Klingerhoff |
| Shoshana Bush | as Girl |
| Kelen Coleman | as Maddy |
| Kate Lang Johnson | as Jennifer |
| Jill Latiano | as Haley |
| Amber Stevens | as Sara |
| Francia Raisa | as Marly |
| Madison Riley | as Lily |
| Joy Osmanski | as Curious Cheerleader |
| Jessica Szohr | as Kara |
| Tanya Chisholm | as Denise |
| Krista Kalmus | as Anna |
| Kate French | as Cute Captain |
| Julianna Guill | as Another Girl |
| Lindsay Schoneweis | as Yet Another Girl |
| Heather Morris | as Fiona |
| Kayla Ewell | as Margot Jane Lindsworth-Calligan |
| Sandra Sanchez | as Female Commentator |
| Janel Parrish | as Lana |
| Libby Mintz | as Janine |
| Lucy Griffin | as Charlie |
| Karlee Eldridge | as Matty |
| Rebekah Giles | as Tiger Cheerleader |
| Taisha Clark | as Tiger Dancer #1 |
| Amber Estrada | as Tiger Dancer #2 |
| Amber Exum | as Tiger Dancer #3 |
| Janelle Ginestra | as Tiger Dancer #4 |
| Erin Yvonne Hernandez | as Tiger Dancer #5 |
| Glenda Morales | as Tiger Dancer #6 |
| Katrina Norman | as Tiger Dancer #7 |
| Rachele Brooke Smith | as Tiger Dancer #8 |
| Shannah Barrett | as Student/Cheerleader |
| Hailey Bright | as Hot Girlfriend |
| Tara Burrows | as Panada Cheerleader |
| Valorie Darling | as Cheer Beauty |
| Ashley Green Elizabeth | as Eagles Cheerleader |
| Kristen Claire Feldman | as Lanie Brown |
| Kristi Lauren | as Student |
| Holly Lynch | as Nick's Movie Date |
| Roni Meron | as Nick's Girlfriend/Makeout Girl |
| Genia Nunez | as Cardinal Cheerleader |
| Jean Louise O'Sullivan | as Scorpion Cheerleader |
| Amy Paffrath | as 3rd Row Brunette |
| Jereena M. Palaganas | as Cardinals Cheerleader |
| Jessica Provencher | as Cheer Beauty |
| Desiree Rabuse | as Scorpion Cheerleader |
| Brea Renee | as Tiger Cheerleader |
| Jenny Robinson | as Panthers Dancer |
| Marquita Scott | as Panthers Cheerleader |
| Jennifer Stumme | as Tigers Cheerleader |
Movie info
| Languages: | English |
| Filming dates: | February 2008 - ? |
| Gross: |
USA - 5,483,778 USD (22 February 2009) UK - 30,691 GBP (12 July 2009) |
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Original Soundtracks
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"Here I Go Again" Written by David Coverdale and Bernie Marsden Performed by Whitesnake Courtesy of Geffen Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Feeling So Gay" Written and Performed by Fuzzbee Morse and Kyle McCulloch "The Best Damn Thing" Written by Avril Lavigne and Butch Walker Performed by Avril Lavigne Courtesy of The RCA Records Label By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "Girlfriend" Written by Avril Lavigne and Lukasz Gottwald Performed by Avril Lavigne Courtesy of The RCA Records Label By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "That's Not My Name" Written by Jules De Martino (as Julian De Martino) and Katie White Performed by The Ting Tings Courtesy of Columbia Records and Sony Music Entertainment (U.K.) Ltd. By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "Bananza (Belly Dancer)" Written by Akon (as Aliaune Thiam), Terry Hall , Lynval Golding and Neville Staple (as Neville Staples) Performed by Akon Courtesy of Universal Records/SRC Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises Contains a sample of "The Lunatics (Have Taken Over the Asylum)" Performed by Fun Boy Three Courtesy of Chrysalis Records Ltd. Under license from EMI Film & Television Music "Dickhead" Written and Performed by Kate Nash Courtesy of Polydor Records Ltd. (U.K.) Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "In the Morning" Written by Johnny Borrell Performed by Razorlight Courtesy of Mercury Records Ltd./Universal Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Little Spot of Soul" Written by Alex Rizzo and Elliott Ireland Performed by Skeewiff Courtesy of Jalapeno Records "Ride" Written by Craig Nicholls Performed by The Vines Courtesy of Capitol Records Under license from EMI Film & Television Music "Gettin' Pretty Good" Written by Christopher W. Almeida and Brian K. McGuire Performed by Madjkut Courtesy of Madjkut "Yakety Yak" Written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller (as Michael Stoller) "Meat Market" Written by Carrick Moore Gerety and Michael McCormack Performed by Everybody Else Courtesy of The Militia Group "Bad Place to Earn a Living" Written by Jyri Riikonen, Richard Andersson, Hannes Hayha, Teemu Merila and Antii Laari Performed by Lodger Courtesy of Lodger/Eastborder Promotion Ltd. "Don't Make a Sound" Written by Jordan Blaugrund, Michael Blaugrund, Brett Sherman and Eliot Wadsworth Performed by The Head Set Courtesy of Businessman Businessman Music "One" from Chorus Line Written by Marvin Hamlisch and Edward Kleban "Dirty Minds" Written by Matt Thompson and Andy Thompson Performed by Here Come the Mummies Courtesy of Position Music "Two Type of Bitches" Written by Chad Butler (as Pimp C), Bun B, Ollie Moore, Dizzee Rascal (as Dylan Mills), Kenneth Ivy, Johnny Bristol, Gladys Knight and Merald Knight Performed by U.G.K. feat. Dizzee Rascal and Pimp'n Ken Courtesy of Jive Records Dizzee Rascal appears courtesy of Dirtee Stank Recordings Pimpin' Ken appears courtesy of Ken Ivy Productions Contains a sample of "Daddy Could Swear, I Declare" Performed by Gladys Knight & The Pips Courtesy of Motown Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "I Want Candy" Written by Bert Russell (as Bert Berns), Robert Feldman , Gerald Goldstein and Richard Gottehrer Performed by Danger Vacuum Courtesy of RPD Music and Working Blue Productions "ABC" Written by Berry Gordy (as Berry Gordy, Jr.), Alphonso Mizell, Freddie Perren and Deke Richards Performed by American Juniors Courtesy of 19 Recordings Ltd. and Jive Records By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "O.P.P." Written by Vin Rock (as Vincent Brown), Anthony 'Treach' Criss (as Anthony Criss), Keir Gist, Berry Gordy (as Berry Gordy, Jr.), Alphonso Mizell, Freddie Perren and Deke Richards Performed by Naughty By Nature Courtesy of Tommy Boy Records By Arrangement with Warner Music Group Film & TV Licensing Contains a sample of "ABC" Performed by Jackson 5 Courtesy of Motown Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" Written by Allen Sherman and Louis Busch Performed by Public Parking Courtesy of RPD Music and Working Blue Productions "Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of...)" Written by Dámaso Pérez Prado (as Perez Prado), Lou Bega and Zippy Performed by Lou Bega Courtesy of The RCA Records Label and Sony Music Entertainment (Germany) GmbH By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "Breakfast at Tiffany's" Written by Todd Pipes Performed by Deep Blue Something Courtesy of Interscope Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises "Tubthumping" Written by Judith Abbot (as Judith Abbott), Bruce Duncan, Paul Greco , Darren Hammer (as Darren Hamer), Nigel Hunter, Louise Watts , Allen Whalley and Alice Nutter Performed by Chumbawamba Courtesy of Universal Republic Records Under license from Universal Music Enterprises and Courtesy of EMI Music Germany GmbH & Co. KG "Where Do We Go" Written by Ben Jelen and Linda Perry Performed by Ben Jelen Courtesy of Custard "After Party" Written by Asdrubal Sierra (as Asdru Sierra), William Abers (as Willy Abers), Raul Pacheco, Justin Poree, Jiro Yamaguchi, Ulises Bella, K.C. Porter and Jabu Smith-Freeman Performed by Ozomatli Courtesy of Concord Music Group, Inc. "1, 2, 3 Turnaround" Written by Christian Berishaj, Liz Hooper and Andrew Bojanic Performed by Christian TV Courtesy of Christian TV and Courtesy of Nettwerk Music Group "Move to the Music" Written by Jaren Johnston Performed by American Bang Courtesy of Warner Bros. Records Inc. By Arrangement with Warner Music Group Film & TV Licensing "Never Gonna Stop" Written and Performed by Tim Myers Courtesy of Zync Music, Inc. "Nu Nu (Yeah Yeah) Double J & Haze Remix" Written by Lamar Mahone, Keith Mayberry, Craig Simpkins and Lidell Townsell Performed by Fannypack Courtesy of Tommy Boy Entertainment By Arrangement with Natural Energy Lab "Knockin' Boots" Written by William Clark, John Shaffer, Norman Whitfield and Betty Wright Performed by Candyman Courtesy of Epic Records By Arrangement with Sony Music Entertainment "Until the Stars Fall from the Sky" Written and Produced by Richard Gibbs and Mark Hoppus Performed by Mark Hoppus and Richard Gibbs Mark Hoppus appears courtesy of Interscope Records |
Goofs
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Continuity: When the guys are caught naked (the first time) by the head coach, they have pom poms to cover themselves. In one shot, Nick (Eric Christian Olsen) has one hand covering his but and the other covering his crotch. In the next shot both hands are covering his crotch. Revealing mistakes: When they get off the bus at Cheer camp the image is reversed - the bus is facing the wrong way. GEOG: When the bus first pulls into the cheer-leading camp, a big sign reads "Southeastern Illinois University." However, the garden beds are filled with masses of ornamental aloes, plants that are commonly used in California landscapes but that are unable to survive winters outdoors in any part of Illinois. SYNC: During the bus ride to cheer camp, most of the background cheerleaders mouths do not match with the cheers that are being said. Continuity: Nick tells Shawn they are leaving cheer camp and he walks out the room, wearing jeans. when he comes back in, he changes his t-shirt but when they walk out the room, nick is wearing the whole uniform. SYNC: When Rick says "do you want to die today?" at the end of the movie, his lips don't match what he is saying. Continuity: When Nick falls from holding Shawn in the air the chair he's standing on tips over, but in next few shots it switches from standing up and being tipped over. CHAR: In the "Coach Shit" scene the coach only says "shit" 9 times. ("You shit heads think you're the shit. That you don't need to pay attention out there. I'll kick the shit outta ya. You pumped for football camp? - Don't mess with me shit dick. I'm gonna push ya like ya never been pushed before. Your muscles will ache, your head will throb, you're going to shit blood out of holes you never knew you had. - Oh no, change it up this year. Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas, hotter than your shit hole. We're gonna get you shits can take it. Bus leaves Monday at Oh-Shit-Hundred Hours. - 4:45 am. - Skip your morning shit and get down here.") Continuity: After Shawn and Nick talk to Jennifer, they walk away and must split as someone walks between them. In the next shot, they are standing right next to each other. Continuity: When Shawn and Nick are talking to Poppy about joining cheer camp, Poppy has her hands out and her arms facing out. In the next shot, she is cupping her hands. Continuity: When Nick and Shawn are returning in the bus, you can tell from the window frame, that they are not sitting in the same seat when the camera is changing from the outside view to the inside view. CHAR: When Nick and Shawn are first introduced to Rick, Carly's Boyfriend Rick says to Carly that he has his friends with him but his friends aren't in the car at all. CHAR: When Carly and her friends are talking about her boyfriend, she says he's pre-med at Illinois. No one calls the University of Illinois "Illinois", the most commonly used nickname is "U of I". |
Quotes
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Shawn Colfax: You gotta risk it to get the biscuit. Nick Brady: I think our bus crashed and we're in heaven. Shawn Colfax: No, we would've heard "We are crashing, we we are crashing" Shawn Colfax: You gotta risk it for the biscuit! Nick Brady: I could be watching a Project Runway marathon with Nathan Lane under my dress and STILL win a straight award! Nick Brady: Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say 'Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?' Shawn Colfax: I know you want to be here, because you finish last every single year, but you still keep coming back! Even if it means taking endless shit from total dong-knockers like the Panthers! Sylvia: I wanna cut the blonde one! Nick Brady: What? Sylvia: What? Nick Brady: What? Sylvia: ...I'm just saying. [from the trailer] Shawn Colfax: Screw football, let's go cheer! Carly: [introducing her boyfriend] He's Pre-med at Illinois. Shawn Colfax: Then why do you call yourself doctor? Dr. Rick: Why put off the inevitable? [from the trailer] Nick Brady: What are you doing later? Diora: Not you. Nick Brady: Hi Carly. Carly: [sarcastically] I know, it's the most beautiful name you've ever heard, my eyes look like forever, and you love every bone in my body, especially yours! Nick Brady: No, but that's a good one, do you mind if I use it? Nick Brady: Hiya Dick. Dr. Rick: It's Rick! Nick Brady: Ah, sorry, I don't know why I keep doing that. You just look like such a Dick to me. Nick Brady: [reading her nametag] Diora? I believe that's Italian for 'beautiful princess'. Diora: No. Nick Brady: Well it should be, I'm calling the dictionary people. Nick Brady: [about cheer camp] Tell you what, man, that'd be the place to be. Shawn Colfax: Instead of sweating our balls off in the desert with Coach Shit-Shit. Nick Brady: ...So let's go? Shawn Colfax: What? Nick Brady: Let's go to cheer camp, lets be cheerleaders! Shawn Colfax: Cheerleaders? Oh my god, are you coming out to me? I am so proud of you, man! And you know what, on some level I kinda always knew. Nick Brady: Would you shut up? I'm too strait to be gay. I could suck knob and still be strait. I could have one in my mouth and two in each hand and still win a strait award. Shawn Colfax: [grossed out] Alright... Jennifer: Hey, Nick! Nick Brady: [aside to Shawn] Name, name, I need a name. Shawn Colfax: Jennifer. Nick Brady: Jennifer! Hi, how are ya? Jennifer: I'm great, really great. Are you going to the bonfire tonight? Nick Brady: You know it! I was just saying to my boy Shawn here, I can not wait to go to the bonfire tonight so I can hang out with... Shawn Colfax: [whispers] Jennifer. Nick Brady: [sings] Jennifer. Jennifer: I'll see you tonight. [leaves] Nick Brady: Okay Jennifer. Shawn Colfax: It's not that hard a name to remember. Nick Brady: C'mon, I went out with her last semester. After thirty days the name gets erased from my brain to make room for new ones. There's like three thousand kids at this school! Shawn Colfax: So why can't you just remember more names? Nick Brady: I don't know how it works, bro, talk to tech-support. Nick Brady: [Nick and Shawn cooking and watching TV in the kitchen] Oh look at that hottie, I wonder what she wants to do with her life. Shawn Colfax: What? Nick Brady: You know how Bianca wants to go to cooking school and Silvi wants to be a pilot... and... Oh my god, I actually know these girls, as like friends, and I care? I'm becoming a fully formed person with like sensitivity and empathy! HAHA! alright i'm a person! [looks at the woman in a bathing suit on TV] Nick Brady: oww look at the pooper on that one! I could rest my beer on that shit. Shawn Colfax: And you're back. What kind of dressing goes on Greek salad? Nick Brady: Olive oil, top shelf. Nick Brady: Dude, why didn't you tell me you're gay? I would've been totally okay with that. Paint with all the colors of the wind and whatnot. Downey: Wait, you're strait? Nick Brady: [laughs uncomfortably then stops abruptly] Yes. Downey: But what about your diary? And then you asked for my beads and you stuck them in your mouth... Nick Brady: I thought it was a bracelet! Downey: Why would you stick a bracelet in your mouth? Nick Brady: I don't know! Downey: The closet door is made of all different kinds of wood, my brother. [leans in closer] Downey: All kinds... [Downey slaps Nick's ass and leaves] Nick Brady: Ahh... god that is SO awkward. Nick Brady: [trying to talk his way out of football camp] So not only yesterday do I find out I'm adopted. The people I've been calling "Mom" and "Dad" are actually two infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me - my birth father, Bruce... well he needs a kidney and I'm the only match and apparently Bruce needs it "stat". Mmm-hmm. You need it stat, Bruce? Huh? Well maybe I needed a father stat instead of my stay-at-home dad who showers me with love everyday of his life, this goddamn spermless liar! [pause] So now I have to be at Kaiser Permanente at 6 a.m. tomorrow. I know, Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital... managed care. Ironic, isn't it? He never *managed* to care for me. Dr. Rick: [after Downey punches Dr. Rick in the face] I hope one of you ends up in my ER one day, bleeding. I'll make you wait for days. Unless one of you has Blue Cross. That's a PPO, none of that HMO bullshit! Nick Brady: Let's bet how many times he says 'shit.' I say seven. Shawn Colfax: No way. Ten. Nick Brady, Shawn Colfax: Hey coach! Coach Byrnes: You shitheads think you're the shit? That you don't need to pay attention out there? I'll kick the shit outta ya! You pumped for football camp? Shawn Colfax: Eh, I guess so. Nick Brady: Yeah, two weeks without girls. Who wouldn't be pumped? Coach Byrnes: Don't mess with me shitdick! I'm gonna push ya like you've never been pushed before. Your muscles will ache, your head will throb. You're gonna shit blood out of holes you never knew you had. Nick Brady: Well at least we're gonna be in Daytona Beach. Coach Byrnes: No no. They changed it up this year. Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas. Hotter than your shithole. We're gonna get you shits conditioned! Bus leaves Monday at o' shithundred hours. Nick Brady: Which is...? Coach Byrnes: 4:45 am. Nick Brady: Of course. Shawn Colfax: Unusual. Nick Brady: Mmhm. Coach Byrnes: Skip your morning shit and get down there. Nick Brady: Ten 'shits'. You win. How do you always KNOW? Shawn Colfax: It's a gift. I'm not proud of it. Shawn Colfax: Hiya sis! Poppy: Why am I looking at you? Speak! Nick Brady: [patronizing] Poppy, you're getting so big now! How old are you? Poppy: I'm 60. Can we get past the small talk? The only time you and my brother come to see me is when you need something. What? Tug mags? Mike's Hard Lemonade? [looking at Nick] Another ride to the clinic? Nick Brady: [appalled whisper] Poppy! Poppy: Tell ya what. I'll teach you some basic cheerleader moves. Hi v's. Low v's. Touchdown. Baskets. Nick Brady: Whoa whoa whoa. Don't the guys just throw the girls up and catch 'em? Poppy: Pretty much, eh. But I'll let you practice on me and tell you what they're called. In exchange... I get Shawn's room. Shawn Colfax: [simultaneously] No. Nick Brady: Done! Poppy: Those are my terms. Take them or get out. Shawn Colfax: [simultaneously] We'll get out! Nick Brady: We'll take 'em! Shawn Colfax: Dude! I've got my own bathroom. Nick Brady: Dude, after cheer camp you won't even need your own bathroom. Shawn Colfax: What? What does that even mean? Nick Brady: Poppy, you got yourselves a deal. Teach us, we go see Carly. Poppy: Whoa! Wrong gossip girl. Nick Brady: We're gonna go catch an old Bears game. Nick Brady, Shawn Colfax: Gooooo Bears! Ms. Klingerhoff: Don't judge a book by its cover, Carly. You never really know what a book is about 'til you get to... page 50! Nick Brady: 50? I wouldn't have guessed a page over 40. Shawn Colfax: More like 35. Shawn Colfax: So what exactly are we going to say to Coach Shit-for-Words to get out of football camp? Nick Brady: What every kid says to get out of everything he doesn't want to do. [speaking to Coach Byrne] So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted, the people I've been calling 'mom' and 'dad' are actually infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, he needs a kidney and I'm the only match! And apparently Bruce needs it stat. Mhm, you need it stat, Bruce? HUH? Well maybe I needed a father stat, instead of this stay-at-home-dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn spermless liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6:00 am. I know. Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital. Managed care. It's ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me. Coach Byrnes: Are you shittin' me? Are you saying you can't go to football coach? Nick Brady: Yeah, but don't make me say it, coach. It's eating me up inside. [sniffle] It's eating me up. Carly: We are driving! We we are driving! Cheerleaders: We are driving! We we are driving! Carly: We like driving! We we like driving! Cheerleaders: We like driving! We we like driving! Carly: We are eating! We we are eating! Cheerleaders: We are eating! We we are eating! Cheerleaders: We are driving again! We are driving! Shawn Colfax: 'Panthers out'? What are they, a knife gang? Brewster: I'm Brewster. [whispers] Not my real name. My parents named me Jack. "Jack" - so strong, so masculine. We get it! You wanted a boy! [throws up fists] Ma name's Jack! I punch bad guys and I kiss girls. [reverts back to normal tone] Save it. Shawn Colfax: OK. Brewster: I tell ya what. Your jobs aren't just going over there, sailor. Some of us are coming over here. The world is flat like a son of a bitch. Shawn Colfax: You're giving us a lot to process here. Nick Brady: [to guy in Eagle mascot costume] 'Sup Eagle? Brewster: Oh, mascots don't talk. They just gesture. Nick Brady: Even... in their bunks? Brewster: The whole time, babygirl... It's total immersion! Coach Keith: How do you spell 'fired up'? Cheerleaders: F! U! Shawn Colfax: Not really... Nick Brady: Uh-uh. Coach Keith: I was born cheering! My mother swears the first thing out of her what's-it was a little pair of baby hands doing spirit fingers! [laughs] That's a joke! But it really happened. Coach Keith: [speaking of how the dangerous Fountain of Troy move is 'prohibidado'] You can't even say 'Fountain of Troy' at this cheer camp! Go ahead and say it! Cheerleaders: Fountain of... Coach Keith: No, stop it - what are you doing? This isn't a game! I'm not playin' around up here! Diora: Honey... Coach Keith: ...Just a joke. First week of cheer camp, lighten things up. Have a good time. Everhbody say it now. 'Fountain of Troy.' Cheerleaders: Fountain of... Coach Keith: Oh dear Lord! Oh gosh, shut up, shut up! [dances around angrily] Stop it! Stop it! Nobody does Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp! Nick Brady: Do not poop where you eat, remember? That's why there are no restaurants called "The Bathroom." Nick Brady: Remember when I pretended to be really into Nickelback for that senior chick? Shawn Colfax: God they suck. Nick Brady: So did she. [holds up hand for high five] Up top! Shawn Colfax: Dude. I am not gonna high five you for a BJer you got a year ago. Nick Brady: [high fives self] Shawn Colfax: Doesn't count. Nick Brady: [grabs Shawn's hand and high fives his own hand] Shawn Colfax: NO! Carly: I know at the beginning I might've been a little against you two joining the squad. Shawn Colfax: I believe you called us 'godless douche-monsters.' Carly: Actually, it was 'soulless beav-wranglers.' Nick Brady: [checking out Dr. Rick's ride] What is with that car? Shawn Colfax: Maybe he just won an LPGA tournament. Nick Brady: How'd you two crazy kids meet, Rick? Dr. Rick: It's a funny story actually. Our parents knew each other from way back... and they introduced us. Shawn Colfax: Whoo. Not that funny a story. Not even a story really, just like a fact. Dr. Rick: Animal House reference! LOVE IT! Nick Brady: Mopey, I'm talking to you. You've been sitting out here staring into space for like two hours. Shawn Colfax: [checks watch] It's been five minutes. Nick Brady: Really? That was five minutes? Wow, I guess I really do suck in bed. Shawn Colfax: I think you're being a little dramatic. Nick Brady: Well, I have never...! Nick Brady: What makes this girl so great, bro? Shawn Colfax: I don't know, there's just something about her. You know, when she bumped into me on the bus. Or, uh, when I saw her reading that book. She orders pudding for dessert. Nick Brady: OK, now you're just listing things that people do. Shawn Colfax: No I'm not!... Sometimes she writes with a pencil. Nick Brady: Look at that, huh? We're all here thinking inside the box, and you're outside of it, playing a little game of 'What If.' Gorgeous AND brilliant. The triple threat. Brewster: I have not been skinny dipping since Indian scouts! [takes his underwear off and starts swinging his hips around] Nobody look! Windmill! Nick Brady: We're leaving our underwear on bro! We talked about this, remember? Brewster: You talked. I listened. [swinging his hips in different ways while the rest of the group looks away] Paint the fence. Cutting the cake. Hangman's noose. Hangman's noose! Dr. Rick: We're learning about the effects of lavender therapy on type-2 carcinoma patients. Shawn Colfax: How's that working out? Anyone go into remission after smelling a flower? Dr. Rick: ...Alright, you caught me man. I picked you some flowers, Carly. Carly: That is so sweet. Where are they? Dr. Rick: ...I made a special wish on them and threw them into the sky. Dr. Rick: [Rick and his two friends are loudly singing-along in the car to "Tubthumpin'"] Awesome song! Chumbawumba. It's the soundtrack of my life man! Dr. Rick: [holding up his hands] If these weren't tools for healing, I would crack you in the jaw. Nick Brady: YOU'RE a tool for healing. Nick Brady: Humans are the only species that CAN lie. Except for maybe chameleons. Ooh, and possums. They play dead. Coach Keith: Well well well. If it isn't a pair of wolves in cheer clothing! What part of 'the next time I see your punnim they'll be on the moon' didn't you understand? Nick Brady: Um, like... the whole thing? Dr. Rick: Just came to say break a leg. Carly: That's theater. This is cheering. Dr. Rick: You better believe it. Dr. Rick: I'll be watching you. Shawn Colfax: Yeah. That's exactly what an audience member does at a performance-based event. Carly: [to Rick] Just go sit down. Dr. Rick: [makes 'my eyes are on you' gesture] Robert DeNiro, Meet the Parents reference. LOVE IT. Nick Brady: [as Rick walks away] God he seems great. Shawn Colfax: Really nice! Nick Brady: Mm, I like him. Nick Brady: We're doing a lot of talking during the routine. I'm new, but this seems like a lot of talking during the routine. Coach Keith: [seeing the Tigers doing the Fountain of Troy] That's prohibidado. I told them in Spanish, how much clearer could I have been! Shawn Colfax: [coming to] Did we win? Are we going to State? Carly: No, we came in nineteenth. Dr. Rick: I can take life as quickly as I can give it! Dr. Rick: You're dumping me for him? Carly: No, I'm dumping you, period. And then I'm gonna be with him. Period. If... that's okay with him, question mark. Shawn Colfax: Totally. Exclamation point. Dr. Rick: Oh puke. Parenthesis, bold, underline. [pleadingly] Carly Horse. Carly Junior's, baby. Larry, Mo, and Carly. Carly and the Chocolate Factor, sugar. Carlsbad, Carlyfornia. Brewster: [after Rick is punched by Downey] That was for the Crocs. You're not an old lady gardening or a baby on the beach. OK? Now put on some shoes, you're embarrassing yourself. Dr. Rick: I hope one of you ends up in my E.R. one day, bleeding. I'll make you wait for days. Ha! Unless one of you has Blue Cross. That's a PPO. None of that HMO BULLSHIT! Carly: You know what John Lennon always said. Shawn Colfax: No, I don't. I'm not in my fifties. I could ask my dad though. [smiling] Carly: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. [repeated line] Sylvia: [whenever she says or does something that draws attention to herself]... I'm just saying. Dr. Rick: You should get that mole checked out. I'd do it myself, but I don't have my bag on me. Shawn Colfax: Your book bag? Coach Keith: Sure, I'll teach you how to do the Fountain of Troy... [shouting angrily] then I'm gonna teach ya how to put make-up on a bear! |
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