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Mary Steenburgen
Elisabeth Shue
Shelley Duvall
Nick Nolte
Sean Bean
Parker Posey
Patricia Arquette
Hilary Duff

Watch "Haggard: The Movie" Full Movie Online

Information

Year: 2003
Rating: 6.0(2742)
Listed in: Comedy
Directed by: Bam Margera
Actors: Ryan Dunn Bam Margera Brandon Dicamillo Rakeyohn Jennifer Rivell

Cast

 Directed by
Bam Margera  
 Actors
Ryan Dunn as Ry
Bam Margera as Valo
Brandon Dicamillo as Falcone/Taxi Driver/Announcer at Appliance Contest/Gnar Kill Ba
Rakeyohn as Hellboy
Brandon Novak as Dooli
Chris Raab as Raab
Jess Margera as Bum/Tetris Addict/Gnar Kill Band Member
Phil Margera as Fat Guy with Watermelon/Bakery Shop Owner
Mark Hanna as Laughing Fanna at Spa
David Decurtis as Naked Dave
Mike Maldonado as Homebois
Vincent Margera as Don Vito/Appliance Contest Judge
Tony Hawk as Cop
Bucky Lasek as Skaters in Chase Scene
Derek Krasauskas as Skaters in Chase Scene
Jason Ellis as Cactus at Record Bin
Ryan Gee as Partyer at Reservoir
Buddy Bill as Partyers at Reservoir
Gunner as Partyers at Reservoir
Tim O'Conner as Appliance Contest Judge
Chad Keeton as Appliance Contest Judge
Alex Moul as Bartenders
Clifford of Liverpool as Bartenders
Deron Miller as Gnar Kill Band Member
Chad Ginsburg as Gnar Kill Band Member
Vern Zaborowski as Gnar Kill Band Member
Chris Aspite as Derrek
Dennis Costello as Russian Soldier
Matt Costello as Russian Soldier
Jim Schneider as Russian Soldier
Josh Ball as Fairman's Clerk
Cheri Slider as Lesbian
David Bottaro as The Wallet Guy
Mike Holman as Himself
Ville Valo as HIM Singer
Eric Weiss as Extra
 Actresses
Jennifer Rivell as Glauren
Ann Marie Esposito as Girl at Coffee Shop
Olivia Hammond as Ali
Angie Cuturic as Heather
Missy Rothstein as Beth
April Margera as Lady in Coffee Shop

Movie info

Languages: English
Budget: USD 500,000
 
Plot: Based on the true story about Ryan Dunn (played by himself) and his ex-girlfriend Glauren (Jenn Rivell) and how she cheated on him. After the break up Glauren is rumored to have been hooking up with heavy metal Hellboy (Rake Yohn). Ryan enlists the help of his friends Valo (Bam Margera) and Falcone (Brandom Dicamillo) to find out the truth. They do whatever it takes to get the evidence, even if it meant breaking into her house. Meanwhile, Ryan has run-ins with the law and even gets stabbed in the eye with a fork. The movie also includes special appearances by pro-skaters Tony Hawk, Jason Ellis, and Bucky Lasek.

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Original Soundtracks

  "Lose You Tonight" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"One Last Time" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"Pretending" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"Again" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"Beautiful (Ballad Version)" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"You Are The One" Written by Ville Valo Performed by HIM
"Shock And Terror" Written by Deron Miller, Jess Margera, and Chad Ginsburg Performed by CKY
"Search and Destroy" Written by Iggy Pop and James Williamson (as James Robert Williamson) Performed by Iggy & The Stooges
"Life Demise" Performed by Unanimated
"Black Winter Day" Written by Kasper Fredrik Martenson Performed by Amorphis
"Big News" Performed by Clutch
"Resume" Performed by Sopor Aeternus
"Someone Like You" Performed by New Order
"Sneakin' Into Your House" Written by Bam Margera, Jess Margera, and Brandon Dicamillo Performed by Otimen Recording Hell
"Livin' La Vida Loca" Written by Desmond Child, Robi Rosa, and Luis Gomez Escolar Performed by Toy Dolls
"Freestyler" Composed by Jaakko Salovaara Lyrics by Raymond Ebanks Performed by Bomfunk MC's
"Deceiver of Fools" Written by Sharon Den Adel Performed by Within Temptation
"The Rocky Road To Cashel" Performed by Shantalla
"Doctor?" Performed by Orbital
"Fun Taslach" Performed by Kiezner and Hassidic Musk
"Knife Fight" Performed by Astor Piazzolla
"The Garden" Performed by Faithless
"Sunday 8pm" Performed by Faithless
"Just What I Always Wanted" Performed by Dead or Alive
"Divine Intervention" Performed by Slayer
"Acoustic Medley" Written by In Flames Performed by In Flames

Goofs

  Crew: When Valo and Falcone break into Glauren's house, and are in her bathroom, the cameraman is visible in the mirror in the shots taken with Falcone's camera.
Continuity: When Falcone and Valo are getting ready to break into Glauren's house and Falcone is talking to the "Tetris Addict", during a seemingly uninterrupted series of dialog between the characters, the level and amount of tetris blocks changes many times on the TV.
Crew: In the scene where Falcone is filming/directing the toys, you can clearly see the Rake dummy used later in the film in the background of some of the shots.
Continuity: When Falcone and Valo attempt to escape Glauren's house when Hellboy is having sex with her, the camera they are using to film the act has a "fish-eye" lens on it. After escaping from the pursuing Hellboy, Valo begins to film Falcone "getting his ass kicked" and the camera no longer has the fish-eye attached. At no point would Valo have had time to remove it.
Continuity: When Ryan gets hit by the black taxi, his shoe comes flying off. Then it appears back on his foot in the next shot.
Continuity: After Ryan leaves the table in the restaurant to use the phone, we see the table again, except Ryan can be seen standing at the back of the room in the reflection from the window though he is still on the phone.
Continuity: When Falcon and Valo find the poster for the "Invention of the Future" contest, they are standing next to an early-1990s dark gray Nissan Maxima. In the next shot they are standing alongside a late model gold Ford Crown Victoria/Mercury Grand Marquis, but if you look down the street, you can clearly see the Maxima and the posters from the original spot. By the end of the sequence they are back next to the Maxima.
Continuity: In the beginning Ryan drinks from a bottle of wine. Two shots after that he has a bottle of Budweiser in his hand and not a bottle of wine.
Continuity: When Ryan and Glauren are at the restaurant, Glauren is not wearing hoop earrings. However, when they are riding up to her house on bikes afterwards, she is wearing large silver hoop earrings.
Continuity: During the judging of the invention of the future contest you can see that Raabs drink changes several times throughout the scene
Crew: When Ryan is arrested, Valo offers a sports watch as a bribe, and you can see Valo's microphone pack and wire clearly in his back pocket.
Continuity: When Valo finds Ryan at the waterfall park to ask him to throw some bottles, his right hand keeps alternating from the wooden railing to his side in numerous shots.
Continuity: When Valo visits Naked Dave, Valo's hands switch from being inside his pockets to out of his pockets.
Continuity: When Ryan is throwing bottles behind the Wawa, his cigarette vanishes.
Continuity: Glauren's clothing changes many times after her dinner date with Ryan. She entered Hellboy's car barefoot holding strappy shoes, wearing a transparent purple top and a black skirt. Next time we see her at a bonfire, she is wearing calf-high boots. When she goes back to her house with Hellboy, she's wearing a gray top, stockings, and calf-high boots.
Continuity: While Ryan is getting arrested, one shot shows him being turned around to be handcuffed, with his back facing the officer. In the very next shot, he's facing the officer again, and the shot after that has him with his back to the officer again.

Quotes

  Officer: I gotta take you in.
Valo: Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in.
Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint...
Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here.
Glauren: What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin,
mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan?
Ryan Dunn: Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't
even drink.
Glauren: [indignant] Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your
problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to
get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks.
[beat]
Ryan Dunn: Eww.
Falcone: These... are girlfriend's... underwears.
Officer: Hellboy?
Ryan Dunn: Picture a guy named Hellboy... and that's what he looks
like.
Hellyboy: What the fuck is that? Do I have a camera?
Ryan Dunn: That's a nice tattoo you got there. What does that mean?
Girl at Coffee Shop: It means desire.
Ryan Dunn: Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean
you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer, have
shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe,
just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll
stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's
sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn.
Glauren: Hellboy fucking fingered me.
[Glauren and Hellboy are having sex; Valo and Falcone are
eavesdropping]
Glauren: Teenagers were meant to fuck.
Valo: Did she just say "teenagers were meant to fuck"?
Don Vito: No, what are you doin'? Those grapes ain't for you.
[while filming a home movie using a model train set and action
figures]
Falcone: What are you guys doing, humping on the caboose?
[Talking about Hellboy's tattoo]
Glauren: Actually, he's got a rhino. Ya' know, I'm a Leo so I like
rhinos...
[In a sarcastic voice]
Ryan Dunn: Yeah, rhino, real cool.
Valo: Some girl stabbed Ryan in the eye, now he's gotta rock a
pirate-patch for at least a month.
Falcone: So how's school going, Raab?
Raab: Ohh, wow, not so good. I lost my schedule at the beginning of
the semester, and couldn't find my classes for like a month and a
half. I end up getting three D's and an F, I mean, it's not that
bad considering I passed.
Valo: Don't touch me, or I'll seriously kill your face, it's so
hardcore.
Valo: Tell him how Hellboy's in for it.
Falcone: You know Hellboy? He's in for it.
[after showing Ryan the tape of Hellboy and Glauren having sex]
Ryan: I'm gonna rip Hellboy a new asshole.
Valo: No, I think Hellboy ripped Glauren a new asshole.
Dooly: Bro, why weren't you at the rager last night?
Valo: What rager? Maybe 'cause you didn't call me up and invite me.
Dooly: Watch your mouth, sweetheart.
Valo: Yo, what was it like though, bein' in jail for the first time?
Was it good?
Ryan: Just drop it.
Valo: Did you meet any new friends?
Ryan: Just drop it, alright?
Valo: Let me guess: some sort of experiment?
Falcone: Spearmint? I'd rather Wintergreen. What are you talkin'
about?
Valo: The TV. It's sideways.
Falcone: Why wouldn't it be sideways? I have to watch it with my neck
straight, so I'm comfortable. Otherwise I'd have a taco neck, ya
know?
Valo: Did you take acid?
Falcone: ...yea.
Falcone: I will tell you everything, I'll let you know. You'll be so
much smarter. Girls are like... a lake, you know? Like, you can
jump right in, get in there, and then you're all used to it and
everything's great. But come winter time [snaps fingers] that
shit's fuckin' frozen. Then you're fucked. That's why I know the
difference: I always pull out of it.
Valo: What are you talking about? This food is making you crazy.
Valo: What the hell is wrong with all my friends? Fuck.
Falcone: Later on do you wanna go to to the bakery? I can almost
taste it with my nose. Ever feel that way?
Falcone: I like chocolate, I like fudge, I'll make some now or I
won't budge.
Don Vito: [to Ryan, through restaurant window] What're you *doin'* in
there? I've been looking all over for you to... feed me some
grapes!
Ryan Dunn: [after Glauren apologizes] Get lost. [she turns around and
smacks Valo]
Ryan Dunn: You dumped me for someone named fucking HELLBOY? What the
hell is the matter with you?
Valo: You paint your face fluorescent yellow and you want a sip of my
booze? Fuck off!
Ryan Dunn: Dude! She got fingered!
Fat Guy with Watermelon: You picked the wrong motherfucker to fuck
with!
Glauren: I got a two o'clock.
Ryan Dunn: I am your two o'clock. You're a hairdresser, I got bad
hair and I need you to cut it.
Glauren: You're an asshole.
Ryan Dunn: You look beautiful today.
Glauren: You look like shit.
Ryan Dunn: Gee thanks, why do you think I'm in here? I'm getting my
hair cut. I know I look like shit.
Valo: Alright dude, seriously just relax okay? Look at that girl over
there. She's reading a book alone. If that's not an invitation, I
don't know what is.
Ryan Dunn: What are you talking about, Valo? It's a coffee shop.
People like that come here to get away from people like us.
Valo: She is looking for ass, I can see it.
Ryan Dunn: What does it matter? I look like shit.
Valo: Go talk to her.
Ryan Dunn: What do I say?
Valo: I don't know. Compliment her on that tattoo or something.
Ryan Dunn: Yeah, that'll work. It sounds so fucking lame.
Valo: Worked for Glauren.
Wallet Guy: There's gotta be a fucking five in here somewhere.
Valo: He definitely doesn't wear the pants in that relationship.
Falcone: Pants? He wears girl's underwears.
Falcone: Don Vito is a whore about his grapes.
Valo: Why is Don Vito such a bitch about grapes?
Falcone: Yeah, Don Vito's a whore about grapes.
Valo: Yeah, well Your fucking brilliant plan just got me pissed on by
Hellboy's sick dick. Thanks!
Valo: You've got a fucking rhinoceros on your chest! What the hell
did you do?
Ryan: I just got a tattoo...
Valo: It looks ri-Goddamn-diculous!
Valo: When was the last time you beat off?
Ryan: ...What?
Valo: When was the last time you beat off?
Glauren: I get all the free games I want. What can you offer me?
Ryan: I don't know how I can compete with free games, but how about
my UTTER DEVOTION to you?
Glauren: That's so overrated.
Valo: I don't care if it's a car, I don't care if it's a Goddamn
Batmobile. I don't want to drive with him.
Ryan: [halfheartedly throws bottle]
Valo: That was the most pussified attempt I have ever seen.
Valo: What the fuck is wrong with your face? We're about to perform a
highly illegal break-in and you're on your way to a football game
with your frat buddies!
Valo: [Valo's voicemail message] Yeah, I figured it'd be you, that's
why I didn't answer it.
Valo: Seriously, knock that shit off. I'm going to punch your throat
off your body. I'm walking over here. If you follow me, I'm gonna
kill you.
Beth: I think those are the most innovative people I've ever seen.
Valo: Are you kidding me? I think that's the most asinine shit I've
ever seen apart from that ghetto ass fuck machine!
Glauren: What do you mean no? You said you'd do anything for me the
other night!
Ryan: I think I was drunk... and rather stupid. So no. And fuck off.
Glauren: Me fuck off?
Ryan: FUCK OFF!
Glauren: Fuck you! [slaps Valo]
Bartenders: You could be up to your spuds in bitch meat every day,
but that's not love, that's just jacking loads of birds.
Raab: See you Valo.
Valo: God-damn, I don't know him.
Bartenders: What the hell?
Valo: Oh, it's just Naked Dave.
Falcone: Anyway, I'm making this invention and, uh, I need like
freeon from old fridgerators so keep an eye out. It's this uh,
reverse microwave I'm making. Oh man, it makes things cool real
fast.
Raab: So... you're making some invention that could make stuff cold
like, rally fast?
Falcone: That's what I just said...

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Haggard: The Movie