Information
| Year: | 1991 |
| Rating: | 6.1(6856) |
| Listed in: | Comedy, Romance |
| Directed by: | Michael Hoffman |
| Actors: | Kevin Kline Robert Downey Jr. Sally Field Cathy Moriarty Elisabeth Shue Whoopi Goldberg |
| "A Deliciously Malicious Comedy." | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Michael Hoffman | |
| Actors | |
| Kevin Kline | as Jeffrey Anderson/Dr. Rod Randall |
| Robert Downey Jr. | as David Seton Barnes |
| Garry Marshall | as Edmund Edwards |
| Arne Nannestad | as Director Burton White |
| Paul Johansson | as Blair Brennan/Bolt |
| John Tesh | as Himself |
| Stephen Nichols | as Himself |
| Tim Choate | as Assistant Director |
| Costas Mandylor | as Mark |
| Rob Camilletti | as Actor |
| Michael Berkowitz | as Young Autograph Seeker |
| Ivory Ocean | as Bartender |
| Ben Stein | as Nitwit Executive |
| Barry Kivel | as Nitwit Executive |
| David Byron | as Nitwit Executive |
| Willie Garson | as Nitwit Executive |
| Vince Melocchi | as Production Assistant |
| Brixton Karnes | as Homeless Extra |
| Phil Leeds | as Old Man |
| Nico De Silva | as Bus Boy |
| Armando Molina | as Bus Boy |
| Gino Lucci | as Bus Driver |
| Clive Rosengren | as Doorman |
| Scott Buzz | as New York City Cabbie |
| Keith E. Lane | as Camera Man |
| Michael Laurin | as Fan |
| Actresses | |
| Sally Field | as Celeste Talbert/Maggie |
| Cathy Moriarty | as Montana Moorehead/Nurse Nan |
| Elisabeth Shue | as Lori Craven/Angelique |
| Whoopi Goldberg | as Rose Schwartz |
| Teri Hatcher | as Ariel Maloney/Dr. Monica Demonico |
| Kathy Najimy | as Tawny Miller |
| Sheila Kelley | as Fran |
| Leeza Gibbons | as Herself |
| Carrie Fisher | as Betsy Faye Sharon |
| Cornelia Kiss | as Betsy Faye Sharon's Receptionist |
| Marianne Muellerleile | as Housewife |
| Mary Pat Gleason | as Housewife |
| Amy Nabi | as Woman Shopper |
| Penny Gumeny | as Fan |
| Wai Ching Ho | as Fan |
| Mary Thompson Hunt | as Fan |
| Herta Ware | as Old Woman |
| Dorothy Patterson | as Old Woman |
| Finola Hughes | as All My Trials Actress |
Movie info
| Languages: | English |
| Filming dates: | 22 October 1990 - ? |
| Plot: | Celebrated soap star Celeste Talbert gets support from her niece and from Rose, the script-writer, but is otherwise pretty unpopular at work. In particular, the producer is trying increasingly desperately to write her out of the script on the promise of favours from venomous co-star Montana Moorehead. So Celeste's life is not greatly improved by the re-appearance of an old flame she had insisted was fired from the show twenty years before. |
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Original Soundtracks
| "El sol también se pone" Music by Ludar Felsenstein Lyrics by Ludar Felsenstein (as Ludar) |
Goofs
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Continuity: Celeste's footwear changes repeatedly when she and Rose walk outside the building. Continuity: When Celeste is in her apartment crying to Rose about Jeff and Laurie, her bangs go from behind her mask to in front of the mask, and back, several times. Continuity: Celeste's breakdown and confession play out differently on "Entertainment Tonight" than they did earlier in the movie. A few lines are added in the ET version. Continuity: When Celeste attacks Jeffrey, her slipper flies off. When Bolt and Rose lift her off of him, her slipper is back on. FAIR: A poster in Kevin Kline's dressing room lists him as playing "Willie Loman." The name should be spelled "Willy." The production wasn't that polished to begin with, so it wouldn't be surprising if no one proofread the poster. Crew: When Monica Demonico enters the set from the side after Jeffery Anderson re-acquaints himself with Celeste, a hand is visible on the door just after she enters the room. Off to the side, the only person waiting to enter the set is Bolt, Celeste's husband. Fact errors: When Celeste goes to Jeffrey's apartment to "rescue" Laurie, she tricks the doorman into telling her that Jeffrey's apartment is 2D. When she leaves, his door clearly says 2A. Continuity: In the scene where David and Montana are conspiring on the "beach" set, David is wearing his glasses, but when the angle switches to an over-the-shoulder shot from behind him, his glasses are suddenly off. Continuity: When Jeffery goes out onto the fire escape to rescue Celeste, he closes the window behind him. It is wide open when Celeste goes inside. |
Quotes
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David Barnes: I was under orders. Celeste Talbert: So - was - Hitler! Oh, no, I don't mean Hitler, I mean the other guy, the other one. David Barnes: Himmler. Celeste Talbert: No, no, no. David Barnes: Hess. Rose Schwartz: Eichmann. David Barnes: Eichmann. [to her male costar] Celeste Talbert: Next time, could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel? It's a little early in the day for me. [walks off] Blair Brennan: I can't act in a swimsuit. Tawny Miller: I know... Lori Craven: Celeste, I want to act! Celeste Talbert: Don't say that, "I want to act", ever, please! [an audition] Betsy Faye Sharon: Very, very good, Mark. And very true. I love what you're doing. I just, I think if we could try it one more time, and this time... I don't know... maybe try one without your shirt. Mark: Sure. [Removes it and reviews the script] "Will you be having wine with dinner?" Betsy Faye Sharon: [lustily] I think we've found our waiter! Celeste Talbert: David! David! David, David, David, David, David! David Barnes: Hey, great scene with Bolt. Celeste Talbert: I realize I'm not a young woman; however... David Barnes: What do you mean, you're not... Celeste Talbert: ...could you PLEASE point out to our new costume designer [grabs her] Celeste Talbert: whose name I don't quite have yet... Tawny Miller: Tawny Miller, Miss Talbert. Celeste Talbert: How do you do. [to David] Celeste Talbert: - that I don't feel quite right in a turban. What I feel like is GLORIA FUCKING SWANSON! What am I, 70, David? Am I 70? Why don't you just put me in a walker? Buy a goddamn walker and put me in it! David Barnes: [to Tawny] You're fired. Tawny Miller: Oh God. David Barnes: I'm just kidding. [into PA system] David Barnes: Attention: no turbans for Miss Talbert! Celeste Talbert: What I feel like is Gloria effing Swanson. I'm 42 yrs old, I don't want to be dressed like a dead woman." Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap. Lori Craven: Hi. Uh, I'm Lori Craven and... I'm an actress. Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really! How nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon and I'm a bitch. Now get out of here. David Barnes: Listen, she just won her 8th Schmenger, right? Edmund's crazy about her. She's got a lot of juice. Montana Moorehead: Well, that's when you dump people, okay? When they're still on top, before they lose their popularity and drag the show down with them. Rose Schwartz: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range. Montana Moorehead: YOU - promised me you would get rid of Celeste. WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED! David Barnes: Hey! We were never naked. Montana Moorehead: Well, we could have been! Jeffrey Anderson: You have beautiful eyes. Ariel Maloney: Ooh, they're nothing compared to my tits. [Reading unrehearsed lines off the TelePrompTer] Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] I will if it's that sample. Huh... I wish it was that simple. Edmund Edwards: [offstage] This guy never heard of contact lenses? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] The test results have come back. Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] And? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid... [pause] Bran... fluid. Bran flavor. Burton White: What the hell? David Barnes: [offstage] Brain fever! Edmund Edwards: [offstage, loudly] Say it! Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Brain fever! Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria... [they both goggle at the word] Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the... Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Literally explode? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Exactly, within the next three houses. Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Hours? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint. Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Restaurant? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Restaurant, yes. Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Her brain will actually explode? Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing. [Explaining his proposal for a one-man Hamlet play] Jeffrey Anderson: See, my - my theory is that all the characters are Hamlet: it's all happening in Hamlet's head. So you only need one actor. Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"... [At their table] Ariel Maloney: Bitch! David Barnes: Hag! Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much! Celeste Talbert: I never said I was the best mother in the world. Give me a little credit, will you, credit for being someone who tried... to love you the only way she knew how? Lori Craven: I know that speech. Celeste Talbert: You do? Lori Craven: Yeah, it was the, uh, the Thanksgiving show, when Maggie meets Bolt's blind nephew. Betsy Faye Sharon: She came in yesterday. I don't know who the hell she is. Her name is Naven, Maven, Slaven... Claven... there's no agent. David Barnes: Find her. Betsy Faye Sharon: Well, what if she can't act? Burton White: That never stopped us before! [Barnes snaps his fingers] Betsy Faye Sharon: What? David Barnes: [snap, snap, snap, snap, snap] We make her mute! Burton White: What? David Barnes: If she doesn't speak, we don't have to pay her as much. A homeless deaf-mute: what could be more pathetic? God, I'm good. Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her. Rose Schwartz: Yeah. Edmund Edwards: We have to love her. Rose Schwartz: Mmm. Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her. Rose Schwartz: Mmm. Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get. Celeste Talbert: Oh, I'll tell you why I'm here! I'm here because... I... I... Jeffrey Anderson: Come on, say it! "I want you, Jeffery. I'm consumed with jealousy for my neice, because I want you." Celeste Talbert: Oh, please! Jeffrey Anderson: Admit it, you have feelings for me. Celeste Talbert: My feelings are ABOUT you, not FOR you. There's a big difference! Celeste Talbert: Even for an actor, you're an egomaniac! Rose Schwartz: The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords. What do you want me to do? Nurse Nan: Sudden speech, the last sign of brain fever. She could blow at any moment! Ariel Maloney: Why, Bolt! I didn't realize you were here. Bolt: Well... I am. Jeffrey Anderson: You speak beautifully for a mute. Celeste Talbert: I'm not a genius. I'm just a working actress. Jeffrey Anderson: No, no, no, doing dinner theatre is horrible. Doing hemorrhoid commercials is horrible. What you did... there are no words for! Rose Schwartz: You know, I'd think you were acting, but you've never been this good. Rose Schwartz: I'm looking at crawdad butts, cover 'em up! [offstage - watching the monitor as it is revealed on live TV that Montana is a man] Edmund Edwards: She's a boy! [long, incredulous pause] David Barnes: Yeah, well we *knew* that. [starts gagging] Edmund Edwards: Are you okay? David Barnes: [weak voice] I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others. Montana Moorehead: [to David] What kind of moron are you? Burton White: [watching the live episode unfold] At last, DRAMA! Lori Craven: Get out! Celeste Talbert: [crying] Please try to understand what I am going through. Lori Craven: I don't give a *shit* what you're going through! Celeste Talbert: There's no need to use that kind of language. Lori Craven: [shouts] Get out! Now! Jeffrey Anderson: Of course I can kiss her! Lori Craven: This is ridiculous! I can kiss who I want! Celeste Talbert: No! You can't! You can't kiss her! Jeffrey Anderson: Why because she's *your* neice? Celeste Talbert: [shouts] No, you nitwit! Because she's my daughter! And your daughter. Lori Craven: What? Jeffrey Anderson: What are you talking about? Celeste Talbert: We're her parents! *You* and I! [sobbing] We're her Mommy and her Daddy. Celeste Talbert: Why are you here? Jeffrey Anderson: This is my apartment. I live here. Why are YOU here? Jeffrey Anderson: One more date we would've had a Greek tragedy on our hands. David Barnes: [about Montana] She's got a lot of spirit. Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch. Edwards: There's a nurse in the restaurant. Did I miss a meeting? Montana Moorehead: [about Lori Craven] She has more lines than I do and she's a GOD DAMN MUTE! Montana Moorehead: Get rid of Celeste and Mr Fuzzy is yours. Jeffrey Anderson: Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart climbing up my drainpipe! Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird. [to Montana] Do you mind? Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave? Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave. Montana Moorehead: David... David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please? Montana Moorehead: No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally. [storms out] [from off stage] I hate you! I hate you, you pig! David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit. Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch! |
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