Information
| Year: | 2003 |
| Rating: | 6.2(2880) |
| Listed in: | Comedy |
| Directed by: | Jonathan Kesselman |
| Actors: | Adam Goldberg Andy Dick Mario Van Peebles Peter Coyote Judy Greer Nora Dunn |
| "Part man. Part street. 100% kosher." | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Jonathan Kesselman | |
| Actors | |
| Adam Goldberg | as Mordechai Jefferson Carver |
| Andy Dick | as Damian Claus |
| Mario Van Peebles | as Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim |
| Peter Coyote | as JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal |
| Sean Whalen | as Tiny Tim |
| Tony Cox | as Jamal |
| Richard Riehle | as Santa |
| Melvin Van Peebles | as Sweetback |
| Harrison Chad | as Schlomo |
| Jim Petersmith | as Skinhead Bartender |
| Grant Rosenmeyer | as Young Mordechai |
| Alex Corrado | as Tony |
| Brad Duck | as Jimmy |
| Jason Fuchs | as Adolescent Hasidic Boy |
| Edward I. Koch | as Himself |
| Gary Pratt | as Head Elf |
| Woodrow W. Asai | as Mun Chi |
| Daryl Wein | as Teenage Gentile |
| Michael Mylett | as Gentile Boy No. 1 |
| T.J. Sullivan | as Gentile Boy No. 2 |
| George Hosmer | as Chairman of the Jewish Worldwide Media Conspiracy |
| Ronald Schultz | as ADL Chairman |
| Les Shenkel | as JDL Member No. 1 |
| Alan Nebelthau | as JDL Member No. 2 |
| Jerome F. Richards | as Council Elder |
| C.P. Lacey | as Sammy Davis Jr. Jr./MC Hammer |
| Ephraim Benton | as Black Teen |
| David Lee | as White Accountant |
| Adam Rose | as Addict Jewish Child |
| Jimmy Walsh | as Freckle-Faced Gentile |
| Ivan Sandro | as Carnival Worker |
| Jeff Marlow | as Joshua |
| Ronald Shore | as Bandleader |
| Tom Chalmers | as Chaim Feygele |
| David Steinberg | as Elf Flunky |
| John Jay Buol | as Skinhead |
| Scott Corr | as Skinhead |
| David Kesselman | as Macabee |
| Moshe Kesselman | as Hatcheck Guy |
| Isen Robbins | as Dance Partner 1 |
| David C. Roehm Sr. | as Skinhead Barfly |
| Dariusz M. Uczkowski | as Hasidic boy/Kmart Shopper |
| Jan Uczkowski | as Kmart Shopper |
| Actresses | |
| Judy Greer | as Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal |
| Nora Dunn | as Mrs. Carver |
| Rachel Dratch | as Tikva |
| Annie McEnroe | as Mrs. Highsmith |
| Elaine Hendrix | as Blonde Bombshell |
| Ayelet Ben-Hur | as Israeli Rental Agent |
| Audrey Twitchell | as Gentile Girl No. 1 |
| Alexa Eisenstein | as Gentile Girl No. 2 |
| Evelyn Page | as Old Woman |
| Devin Rene Burns | as Blonde Gentile Girl |
| Chris McGinn | as Samples Woman |
| Kathryn Gordon | as Bambi |
| Anna Berger | as Harriet Tubbleman |
| Mylika Davis | as Sassy Black Prostitute |
| Liana Reda Leahy | as Jewish American Princess |
| Michael Adrienne O'Hagan | as Miriam |
| Lorin Shapiro | as Jewish American Princess |
| Sarah Wagner-Roehm | as Kid Visiting Santa |
Movie info
| Languages: | English, Hebrew, Yiddish |
| Budget: | USD 1,000,000 |
| Gross: |
USA - 19,539 USD (21 December 2003) Australia - 24,291 AUD (2004) |
| Plot: | Mordechai Jefferson Carver, aka the Hebrew Hammer, is an orthodox Jewish stud who goes on a mission to save Hanukkah. When Santa Claus's evil son Damian is pushed over the edge by his father's liberal policies, he does away with the Christian patriarch. Subsequently stepping into his father's role, Damian launches a campaign to eradicate the Jewish Holiday. The Hammer joins forces with Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal, the gorgeous and dangerous daughter of the leader of the Jewish Justice League; and his brother-in-arms Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim, the head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, to topple Santa's evil progeny and to save Hanukkah for future generations of Jews. |
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Goofs
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Continuity: The Hebrew Hammer's vest disappears after exiting the Jewish Underground Railroad. DATE: In the beginning when young Mordechai is walking down the street after school, the parking meters are the modern electronic LCD-screen type, not the mechanical dial type of the time. SYNC: When the Jewish children are heard singing "Silent Night", their mouths are not in sync at all with the music Revealing mistakes: When Mordechai and Mohammed are entering Santa's workshop, the set for the Jewish Atomic Clock scene can be seen behind them. Revealing mistakes: When Mordechai and Mohammed are climbing up the wall surrounding Santa's workshop, Mohammed's pendant can clearly be seen hanging "down" towards the side of the screen when he lets go of the rope GEOG: When the Hebrew Hammer travels from Ben-Gurion Airport to Jerusalem, the road in the desert is bisected by yellow lines. Roads in Israel, however, are bisected by white lines. The scene was actually shot in the Joshua Tree desert in California, and the actual road from Ben-Gurion Airport to Jerusalem is a major highway, not a two-lane road. Continuity: When Mordechai and Mohammed first enter Santa's workshop, Mordechai has his tallit on his head. After he gets inside it is being worn properly around his neck. CHAR: Mordechai is portrayed as a faithful Orthodox Jew, but during a scene with his shirt off, In the scene depicting the morning after Mordechai and Esther make love, it's clear that Mordechai has several tattoos, which are forbidden in traditional Judaism. Adam Goldberg has stated in interviews that the only reason for this is that he was too lazy to get up early in the morning to have the makeup artists cover up the tattoos. The tattoos go without comment in the dialogue because, according to director Jonathan Kesselman , the Hebrew Hammer has already gone against tradition by engaging in premarital sex, and so a couple tattoos are nothing compared to that. Fact errors: When Mordechai enters the skinhead bar, he walks over to the jukebox and after depositing his money, he pushes three buttons and his song begins to play. The jukebox in the bar is a CD unit, which uses four numbers for song selection, two for the disc number, and two for the track. Only vinyl jukeboxes use three numbers. Continuity: When the Hammer is in his car, it has a normal Florida license plate. When there is close up, it shows that it is a New York license vanity plate that says "L'CHAIM". This is seen later in the movie when he talks to Shlomo and gives him a tape from the trunk. CHAR: In the scene where Mordechai is using his tefillin as a grappling hook, he can be seen wearing them on his right arm and hand. Because tefillin are wound around the non-dominant arm, this would only be correct if Mordechai is left-handed; in the next scene he is holding a gun in his right hand. Continuity: At the north pole, right after Santa barricades the door, we see Hammer pointing a gun at Santa. When he racks the slide to chamber a bullet the slide stays back indicating it is unloaded, but when the camera changes angles he's able to shoot the tomato. |
Quotes
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Voice on Intercom: Attention, all K-Mart shoppers, there are Jews in Aisle 12. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Shabbat shalom, motherfuckers! Mrs. Carver: So, what are your plans for after the wedding? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Kill you. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [praying with tefillin] Baruch atah adonoi... I don't know what the hell I'm saying. Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: What you doing? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: I'm prayin' to God we don't kill ourselves gettin' over this wall. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Let's dance the hora. Damian Claus: You're a hora! JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal: G-dash-d dammit, Hammer! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy and mass-produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light. JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal: So you want me to mass produce "Yentl," "Fiddler on the Roof," and Chaim Potok's "The Chosen"? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Right. Mrs. Carver: What with all the attention the newspapers and television has been giving you, you'd think you were the Pope or something. Damian Claus: [trying to distract Mordechai] OH, LOOK! A bowl of Matzoh-ball soup! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [looks away] Yum. [Damian runs] Damian Claus: You numb-nutted, gimpy little bitch! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Hey, you don't wanna pick up this penny? Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Nooooooooo! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: The Hebrew Hammer, Jew boy, my main-man Kike. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim, my main nigga. Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Wassup, dog? [Mordechai and Mohammed high-five] Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Wassup? White Accountant: [incredulously] Y-you just called him a Kike. And you, you just called him a Nigger! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Well, it's okay when *we* calls each other that. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Yeah, that's how it goes. Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Yeah. White Accountant: [utterly dumbfounded] Oh. Damian Claus: [shouts] Watch it with the fucking cane! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Who brings in the dope? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Who brings in the guns? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Who brought in that disco? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: Who brings in that naaaasty-aaaass Jheri curl? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: And who tries to put they motherfuckin' foot up Kwanzaa's ass? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: That's right! Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: [Much later] And who brought in Britney Spears? Members of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front: The white man! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Now, the key of undercover work... is to blend in, OK? You act as a gentile would. Esther: Right. Samples Woman: Could I interest you in a free-sample bacon cheeseburger? Esther: [Esther gasps] Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [affects a middle-America accent] Um, well, I thank you, gentile friend, for your generous offer of that... *deliciously* unkosher snack. I... sadly have to decline... for I already stuffed myself full of milk and meat products at a previous lunch engagement. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [smiles a toothy grin] Esther: You're good. [Tim's cane is taken away and he falls to the ground] Tiny Tim: My cane! [On the verge of crying] Give me back my cane! Fuck. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Wait, wait hold on a sec. I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me no choice. I'm now going to resort to the most dangerous, deadly weapon in the Jewish arsenal. [briefly meditates, then continues in a nasal voice] Mordechai Jefferson Carver: What, I shlep all the way up here for this? I come all the way to the North Pole to fight you, you don't put out anything to nosh on? Damian Claus: You're hungry? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: I mean, seriously, what kind of arch nemesis are you? Damian Claus: Sorry, I wasn't thinking I guess. Oh! Oh, no you don't! You're not going to pull Jewish guilt crap on me, I'm a lot stronger than that Mordechai. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Okay forget it, never mind. Damian Claus: What? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: No, nothing. Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Tell me, what? Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Well, I mean, I don't know what kind of host it is that treats their company this way. Esther is clearly unhappy with the guest room you've provided her with. I'm shvitzing from running around all over the place shooting people. Damian Claus: Stop this! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: What kind of flooring is this anyway, my feet are killing me. Not to mention, I don't get a proper hello when I come in. [he continues and horns blow] Damian Claus: Please stop, just take my gun! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: No. Damian Claus: Take the gun! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Forget about it Damian Claus: I insist on you taking the gun! Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Okay. Damian Claus: [points to his temple] Put a bullet right here! Take me out of my misery please! Mrs. Highsmith: I hope you've all learned a very important lesson today. Just because Mordechai's people are different from us, and just because they may appear strange to us with their furry hats, beady eyes, and long sideburns, not to mention their bizarre customs and unnecessarily gutteral funny-sounding names. Just because they control ALL of the world's money, yet they are too cheap to buy their children anything better than spinning tops for presents, does not mean that we can't learn to love and respect them as our equals. Happy chanuyakah day 7, Mordy! |
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