Information
| Year: | 1983 |
| Rating: | 7.3(23935) |
| Listed in: | Adventure, Comedy, Romance |
| Directed by: | Harold Ramis |
| Actors: | Chevy Chase Randy Quaid Anthony Michael Hall Beverly D'Angelo Imogene Coca Dana Barron |
| "Every summer Chevy Chase takes his family on a little trip. This year he went too far." | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Harold Ramis | |
| Actors | |
| Chevy Chase | as Clark Griswold |
| Randy Quaid | as Cousin Eddie |
| Anthony Michael Hall | as Russell 'Rusty' Griswold |
| Eddie Bracken | as Roy Walley |
| Brian Doyle-Murray | as Kamp Komfort Clerk |
| James Keach | as Motorcycle Cop |
| Eugene Levy | as Car Salesman |
| Frank McRae | as Grover |
| John Candy | as Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld |
| John P. Navin Jr. | as Cousin Dale |
| Nathan Cook | as Man Giving Directions |
| Christopher Jackson | as Pimp |
| Mickey Jones | as Mechanic |
| John Diehl | as Assistant Mechanic |
| Randy Lowell | as Wyatt Earp |
| Virgil Wyaco II | as Indian |
| Gerry Black | as Davenport |
| James Staley | as Motel Desk Clerk |
| Fritz Ford | as Neighbor |
| Eric Stacey | as Neighbor |
| Scott Perry | as SWAT Team Leader |
| Dennis Freeman | as Policeman |
| Michael Talbott | as Cowboy |
| John Craigmile | as Camel Rider |
| Popeye the Dog | as Dinky |
| Henry Gibson | as Hotel clerk |
| Harold Ramis | as Car salesman |
| Lorenzo Salviati | as Bar Piano Player |
| Actresses | |
| Beverly D'Angelo | as Ellen Griswold |
| Imogene Coca | as Aunt Edna |
| Dana Barron | as Audrey Griswold |
| Miriam Flynn | as Cousin Catherine |
| Christie Brinkley | as The Girl in the Ferrari |
| Jane Krakowski | as Cousin Vicki |
| Jeannie Dimter Barton | as Dodge City Cashier |
| Adelaide Wilder | as Car Hop |
| Tessa Richarde | as Motel Guest |
| Elsa Lanchester | as Grandma |
| Violet Ramis | as Daisy Mabel |
Movie info
| Languages: | English |
| Plot: | Chicago native Clark Griswold has decided to take his wife ,Ellen, kids 14 year-old Rusty and 12 year-old Audrey to a Los Angles theme park called Walley World. But when Audrey takes up pot smoking and Rusty reads porno magazines, annoying Cousin Eddie sends spiteful Aunt Edna to join them on their trip, the Griswolds get stuck in the ghetto, Aunt Edna dies, Clark drives off the road, hillbillies take all their money, and Clark is shot at in a Dodge City bar, will their vacation be all it was cracked up to be? |
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Original Soundtracks
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"HOLIDAY ROAD" Written and Performed by Lindsey Buckingham "DANCIN' CROSS THE U.S.A." Written and Performed by 'Lindsey Buckingham "I'M SO EXCITED" Written by Trevor Lawrence , June Pointer, Ruth Pointer and Anita Pointer Performed by The Pointer Sisters "BLITZKRIEG BOP" Written by Joey Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone, Tommy Ramone and Johnny Ramone by Ramones "LOVE FOR SALE" by Cole Porter Chevy Chase's character sings a few lines after seeing the blond woman in the fast car "LITTLE BOY SWEET" Written by Peter Ivers and Franne Golde Performed by June Pointer ©1983, Planet Records, Inc. "HE'S SO DULL" by Vanity 6 "MR. BLUE" by The Fleetwoods Additional Music By Chris Boardman "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis "The Walley World National Anthem" Music by Bruce Belland and Roy M. Rogosin Lyrics by Bruce Belland, Roy M. Rogosin and John Hughes |
Goofs
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Continuity: After the accident in the desert when the axles on the car are bent, we see the family driving down the road, yet when the camera pulls back for a full view of the car only the driver is present. Miscellaneous: When Clark and the girl (Christie Brinkley) go skinny-dipping in the motel swimming pool, we hear her voice laughing and shouting, while on-screen, Ellen is swimming underwater and could not possibly have done either. Continuity: Clark's glasses after the accident, while sharing a beer with Rusty. Continuity: In the saloon in Dodge City Audrey sits down on a stool at the bar twice. GEOG: In the postcards opening, just after Christie Brinkley's name fades offscreen, the postcard for the "Mystery Spot" lists its location as "St. Ignance, Michigan." The Mystery Spot is located in St. Ignace, not St. Ignance. FAIR: Clark comments on "real tomato ketchup," not "homemade," so seeing a bottle of commercial ketchup in Eddie's kitchen is OK. GEOG: Mountains and palm trees near Chicago, in the opening scene when they are pulling into the car lot. Revealing mistakes: As the Family Truckster barrels through an intersection with everyone inside supposedly asleep, you can see the driver sitting up straight. GEOG: During the St. Louis part, they show the Griswolds crossing the bridge into Missouri and *then* getting lost in what they title "East St. Louis." East St. Louis is actually in Illinois, so they would have encountered it before crossing the bridge. This has apparently been corrected in the video version. Continuity: As Russ goes to talk to his dad his hands are out of his jacket pockets. The next shot he has them in his pockets. Continuity: The position of Ellen's head when Clark sees the girl in the Ferrari for the second time changes between shots. Continuity: Just after Clark nearly collides head on with the truck, a red truck can be seen following the Griswald's car. The red truck's distance behind the Griswald's car changes inconsistently between shots. Continuity: When the family enter the Walley World car park, there are no cars, yet when we see the car in another shot, there is a white car next to it. SYNC: Right after Eddie tells Clark that Daisy Mabel was born without a tongue, we can hear Clark say, "Oh," and then laugh. However, Clark does not appear to be laughing, or even smiling. Crew: Camera and operator visible in one of the rides at Wally World. Continuity: In the first motel Ellen unbuttons the top button of her pajamas and in the next shot it is still buttoned. Continuity: When the kids discover Clark and Ellen under the blanket at the first motel, Clark emerges with a pair of beige panties. At the beginning of that scene when Ellen got into bed, they were patterned. Revealing mistakes: When Clark falls onto the skeleton when wandering in the desert, a jaw spring can be seen in the back of the skull. This is used in the lab to keep the jaw shut, but obviously wouldn't be on a skull in the middle of nowhere. Continuity: The "Family Truckster" has windows that roll up, however, in the scene immediately after Clark drives the car off the closed road, Aunt Edna's window goes down smoothly and automatically. Continuity: As Clark and Ellen enter the office, Clark opens the door for Ellen using his right arm. As the view switches to an interior shot of them coming in, Clark is holding the door open with his left hand, with his left arm over Ellen's head. Continuity: Graffiti is spray painted on both sides of the "Family truckster" in one scene, but in the rest of the movie, the spray paint on the driver's side is gone but the graffiti on the passenger side stays throughout the entire movie. Continuity: When the Griswolds are leaving for their trip, there is no luggage on the roof as they get into the car. In the next scene, however, several suitcases appear on the roof. Revealing mistakes: In the scene when Ellen says that Aunt Edna is dead, in the first cut you can see Edna blinking while her eyelids are shut. Continuity: If the rides were running, then someone would be operating them, but the Griswalds and the guards were the only ones in the park. Continuity: In the beginning of the film, when Clark is washing dishes his shirt is untucked, but when they show him going into the living room it is tucked in again. Continuity: When Clark is getting undressed to swim with the "Ferrari Girl" he pulls his boxers off, yet when he jumps in and is swimming you can clearly see he's wearing flesh-colored briefs. Revealing mistakes: In the open matte version of the film, in the scene in which Ellen is in the shower, she can be seen wearing slightly pulled down underwear or possibly bikini bottoms. Revealing mistakes: When the Ferrari is next to Clark, you can hear it revving, but Brinkley's left leg it up and her foot obviously not on the clutch to allow the revving. Crew: Clark and the Motorcycle Cop are talking in close-up at the rear of the vehicle. A movie light is clearly visible reflecting off the cop's helmet as the sun is shining in a different place on the helmet. Fact errors: In the opening credits, one of the postcards shows The Leaning Tower of Pizza in Green Brook, NY. This restaurant was actually in Green Brook, NJ. Fact errors: When the Grizwolds are "lost" in St. Louis, the wide overhead shot clearly shows the Family Truckster exiting onto Interstate 70 West. This is the correct route for their trip, and they wouldn't have been lost if they took it. Continuity: Through the course of the film, Rusty is about the same height as Ellen. But during the Walley World scenes, he is taller than her. This is because these scenes were shot after principal photography. Continuity: Throughout the course of the film, the condition of the Family Truckster changes. Damage to the car will often disappear at one point but reappear in subsequent scenes. Continuity: As the Griswolds are leaving Chicago, the exterior, overhead shots of the Truckster show downtown Chicago, with high-rise skyscrapers in the background. But the "in the car" views show a lower-class industrial area. Continuity: When Clark pulls up the trip route on the TV screen, the line representing their route is shown on the full US map traveling through the state of Oklahoma, but when Clark zooms in to show Day 1, the route line is shown going through Kansas, which would make more sense, since the Griswolds would be stopping to visit Cousin Eddie and his family in Kansas on their way to Walley World. Revealing mistakes: When the Griswolds fall asleep in the car, Clark awakes to see the predicament they're in. When his car is apparently in DRIVE, the car goes in REVERSE without stopping and/or changing gears. Continuity: When the Griswald's are saying there goodbyes, before they leave, they get into the car while in the garage, the camera angle turns and their luggage appears on the roof of the car. Miscellaneous: The Grizwalds drive to Wally World without registering the car. When fueling up the car Clark grabs the license-plate holder, with the plate that is advertising the car dealership, and accidentally rips it off. There is no registration in any of the windows of the car. The dealership would not have let the car go without a registration. A license-plate later appears on the car hanging on with one screw. Fact errors: When purchasing a car in Illinois, either your license plates are transferred from your old car, or you are issued a License Applied For sticker to be posted in the window of your car (at that time). The Griswold's old car is driven off and crushed without removing the plates, and there is no sticker on the new car. They would be stopped and ticketed by the first cop that spotted them. GEOG: When they stop for lunch, the rest area is just east of South Fork, CO. They leave and drive west over Wolf Creek Pass then down towards Pagosa Springs. You can see The Inn at the Pass at the bottom. But they spend the night in tents in South Fork. Did they get turned around at the pass? Continuity: When Clark hooks the dog's leash onto the driver-side back bumper, it actually comes unhooked when the dog dashes at Clark and rests on top of the bumper. In the next scenes, the dog is dragged to his death because of Clark leaving the leash hooked around the bumper. Revealing mistakes: After the Griswold's get the truckster fixed and drive away, you can see that the wheels are wobbly. In later scenes the wheels are fine. Revealing mistakes: When the Griswolds are leaving Cousin Norm's house, you can see the breathing movements of whoever is under the blanket posing as the dead Aunt Edna in the patio chair. CHAR: At the beginning of the movie when Clark and Ellen are doing the dishes you can see Ellen just brush the leftover food into the sink and then hand the plate to Clark. She does not wash the dish. Clark is in front of an open dishwasher but he just wipes the dirty dishes with a towel and puts them in the cabinet. CHAR: In the scene right before Cousin Eddie tells Clark little Daisy Mable was born without a tongue, you see her licking her mouth. CHAR: Cousin Eddie tells Clark that Daisy Mabel was born without a tongue. Soon after (towards the end of the scene), she can be seen sticking her tongue out. Continuity: Beverly D'Angelo's hairstyle changes quite dramatically towards the end of the film (at around the time that Aunt Edna is dropped off at Flagstaff), from wavy to a poodle perm. Continuity: The rear view mirror keeps appearing and disappearing during scenes. Revealing mistakes: In several frontal shots of the Griswolds driving along, there is no windshield on their car. Continuity: When Clark and Ellen get off the vibrating bed, Ellen was previously seen wearing only a blouse after she got out of the shower, but when the kids come in the room and Clark tells them to go away, he is pointing with a bra on his finger, one that Ellen was not wearing. Continuity: When they get out of the family "truckster" at Wally World the line of cones is way off to the right but when they start running towards the park they are running right next to them and you can see the car parked in the distance right next to them so the car changed positions. Continuity: When the family first gets to Walley World and find out its closed, Ellen's belt is above the loop. After they leave and return, her belt is through the loop. Continuity: After the "shower scare" scene, Ellen comes out of the bathroom wearing an unbuttoned pajama top (which she appears to only try to button the top button as she brushes her hair), but in the next shot when she crawls into bed, her pajama top is fully buttoned down. GEOG: During the opening credits postcard montage, one of the cards shows a billboard advertising "Gatorland Zoo, 6 miles away", and the post card heading mentions the billboard was photographed at St. Augustine, Florida. Gatorland Zoo is located in Kissimmee, Florida, which is over 120 miles away from St. Augustine. A few postcards later, another card appears from Gatorland Zoo, depicting the "alligator mouth" entrance, and that card is correctly headlined as Kissimmee, Florida. CHAR: Immediately before the Family Truckster crashes through the "road closed" in the dessert, Edna can be seen gasping before Clark and Rusty, possibly a cue mistake. Following which, Ellen clearly can be seen laughing as she leans over for cover. Revealing mistakes: Obvious stunt driver for Clark 'asleep' at the wheel before they arrive at the first motel. Continuity: While the family is driving in the country, Ellen tells Clark to Slow Down! because they are doing "eighty miles per hour!", when in fact the road passing by clearly indicates they are not doing more than forty. DATE: The Family Truckster's airbag is not even attached to the steering wheel, and it is merely a large trash bag and not an actual supplemental restraint system. In lieu of the 1970's introduction of airbags in American cars, many regular automobiles did not even have them until the mid 1990s. Crew: During the scene where Ellen is praying for Edna's soul, a mike is clearly visible from the bottom of the screen. In fact Audrey stares at it for a moment. GEOG: Tall mountains can be barely seen in the distance when the Griswalds arrive at and drive away from Cousin Eddie and Catherine's house & farm. There are no tall mountains in Kansas (the highest elevation is only over 4,000 feet above sea level in Wallace County, two counties to the North of Hamilton County, where the town of Coolidge is). The mountains visible in the background are in fact the Wet Mountains near Pueblo, Colorado, where the farm used to film Eddie's house was located. FAIR: In the scene in Kansas when Rusty is asking his cousin Dale whether he had "Pac Man", Dale says "no", but in the very next scene in Dale's room, a portable Pac Man game can be clearly seen on the bed behind Rusty. However, this is Rusty'S Pac Man game. He brought it along on the trip and it can be seen in the Truckster many times throughout the film. So Dale saying he does not have a Pac Man game is correct. FAIR: The Grizwalds drive from their home town to Wally World without any form of valid registration on their car. The plate in the license-plate holder is an advertisement for the car dealership that the car was purchased from. However, most states have a "grace period" in which you can drive for a predetermined period of time before you have to register the vehicle, typically 30 days or so. The trip to Walley World would take considerably less than 30 days, so it would not be necessary to register until returning home. Revealing mistakes: When Aunt Edna is "dead" on the back seat you can clearly see her closed eyes twitching in one frame. |
Quotes
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Clark: Could I do your back, honey? Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back. Clark: Could I do your front? Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front. Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom? Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey! Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? Clark: No, sir, I don't. Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff. Mechanic 2: Ain't never seen anyone so shit-all stupid as you driving off that road. You musta got manure for your brains. Clark: Yeah, well, we're from out of town. How much do I owe you? Mechanic 1: How much you got? Clark: No, I'm asking how much the repairs are. Mechanic 1: And I'm asking how much you got! Clark: You're out of your mind. Look, I don't have time to fool around so how much is it? Mechanic 1: [waving a wrench] All of it, boy! Clark: What does your sheriff think of your business practice? [Mechanic 1 laughs and shows Clark his sheriff's badge] Clark: We're from out of town. Man Giving Directions: No shit. Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit! Rusty Griswold: [Grab's Clars shoulder] Dad, you wan an Asprin? Clark: DON'T TOUCH! Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark? Clark: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside. Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun. Ed: Now, I owe it to myself to tell you, Mr. Griswold, that if you are thinking of taking the tribe cross country, this is your automobile. The Wagon Queen Family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait till you drive it. Ed, the car salesman: I'll get to the bottom of this. Davenport! Davenport: Yes, Mr. Ed. Ed, the car salesman: Mr. Griswold ordered a blue sports wagon, where is it? Davenport: I don't know sir. Ed, the car salesman: I know what must have happened. It didn't come in. Clark Griswald: Ed, I'm not your average everyday fool. Now I want my blue sports wagon and if you can't get it I'm gonna take my business elsewhere! Where's my old car? Ed, the car salesman: I'm just as upset as you are, believe me. Davenport! Get Mr. Griswald's car back and bring it back here! Now I can get you the wagon, there's not problem there. The problem is that it might take six weeks. Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you're taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster... You think you hate it now, wait 'til you drive it. Clark Griswald: I don't want to drive it. I just want my old car back. I'm not falling for this. Let's go, Russ Ellen Griswold: [after the bartender shoots at Clark] Clark, I don't think that was funny. A loud noise like that could damage the kids' hearing. Clark Griswald: C'mon, Ellen. It looked real. Hell - I thought it was a real gun. Didn't you think it was real, honey? Audrey Griswold: What? Clark Griswald: I said didn't you think it was real? Audrey Griswold: What? Ellen Griswold: Oh are you happy now Clark? She's deaf. Clark Griswald: Oh what the hell - it was fun anyway. Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know. Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this? [Reaches under her bed and pulls out a shoebox full of marijuana] Clark Griswald: Roy; can I call you Roy? Have you even driven cross-country? Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst 2 weeks I ever spent in my life. The smell from the back seat was terrible. Clark Griswald: Ooooh. Ooooh, I know that smell. Roy, could you imagine if you had driven all the way to Florida and it was closed? Roy Walley: Closed? Uh, they don't close Florida. Clark Griswald: So, this is the old homestead, eh? Cousin Eddie: Yeah. I don't know for how much longer, though. The bank's been after me like flies on a rib roast. Clark: Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that. Clark: Oh Ellen, the old west was dirty. Everything isn't like home. If everything were like home, there would be no reason for leaving home. Right, Rusty? Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think we're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road. Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest God-damn hole in the world. Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language! Clark: Make that the second biggest. Ellen Griswold: [into a phone] I'm not sure of his exact height and weight. All I know is that the man was a saint with children and a genius with food additives and he was... Clark! Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark? Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie. Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough. Clark: Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes... or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away? Clark: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie? Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best. Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint. Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash? Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need? Cousin Eddie: About $52,000. Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. Clark: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie. [after driving off the road] Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose. Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain. Audrey Griswold: I just got my period. Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom? Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father may be going away for a little while. Clark: This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy! Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! Clark: I just want you to ask yourself one thing. If you were... if you were me, wouldn't you do the same thing for your children? Roy Walley: No. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya. Roy Walley: Well, somebody better explain, or there'll, uh... there'll be a lot of explaining to do. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark? Clark: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It's a BB gun! Clark: Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: You couldn't even break the skin with that thing. Clark: I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna's purse? Rusty Griswold: Mom, my sandwich is all wet. Ellen Griswold: They're all wet... Oh God!... The dog wet on the picnic basket. Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man? Cousin Dale: No. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders? Cousin Dale: Nope. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids? Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days. Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath looks like you really got your hands full. Catherine: Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs. Ellen Griswold: Stay in the car! It's hot and dangerous out here. Aunt Edna: Don't you tell me what to do, I'll do what I want! I should never have come on this trip with you, I should have taken an airplane... and him! [pointing to Clark] Aunt Edna: He shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile! He should be BEHIND BARS! Ellen Griswold: SIT down and SHUT UP! Move outta that seat and I'll split your lip! Rusty Griswold: Wow dad, we must have jumped that rail by like 50 yards. Clark: Nothing to be proud of Russ... [pauses as Rusty walks away] Clark: [proudly]... 50 yards... Clark: I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun. Ellen Griswold: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud! Clark: I'm making out a check for $1000, all you have to do is give me $300 in cash and keep the $700, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep. [In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain] Ellen Griswold: We can't leave Aunt Edna on the patio! Clark: Would you prefer I slip her in the night deposit box at the funeral home? Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed on me! [looking at the dead Aunt Edna in the back seat] Ellen Griswold: She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff. What are we going to do Clark? Clark Griswald: Well, I guess we could leave her here and maybe the first phone we pass, we could call Cousin Normie and he could come and get her, I guess. Ellen Griswold: That is the meanest, coldest... Clark Griswald: What do you want me to do? Call Federal Express? Audrey Griswold: Mom, we don't have to ride with a dead person, do we? Please say we don't! Rusty Griswold: Yeah, come on. It'll be real easy for Normie to find Aunt Edna. All he has to do is look for the buzzards. Clark Griswald: We watch his program. We buy his toys, we go to his movies, he owes us! Doesn't he owe us? He owes the Griswalds right? Fucking-A right he owes us! Ellen Griswold: Don't just blurt it out to Normie about Edna dying. Clark Griswald: How about I ask him to play 20 Questions? [Clark knocks on the front door of Normie's house and rings the doorbell, but no anwser] Clark Griswald: Oh, for chrissakes, he isn't even home! Ellen Griswold: Maybe the neighbors know where he is. Clark Griswald: The moron knows we're coming and he isn't home. Ellen Griswold: Normie's always been flakey. Clark Griswald: He's always been a jackoff... Ellen Griswold: Would you watch your mouth! Clark: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way? Pimp: Fuck yo mama! Clark: Thank you very much. Clark: [Edited TV version] Excuse me. Could you please tell how to get back on the expressway? Pimp: Man, who do I look like, Christopher "Columbo" Clark: Thank you very much. [the kids are playing Pacman while Clark is designing a map on the computer] Clark: Russ, please don't eat the Truckster. [In the middle of a desert. Clark is going crazy as he trots through the hills. Two men on horses watch him] Clark: We passed a God damn gas station every 10 yards for 1000 miles, but when you really need one, you end up walking your ass off. This is no way to run a desert! Cowboy: What an asshole. Clark: Roll 'em up! Clark: Russ, it's really great that I can spend time with you and... uh... uh... uh... Rusty: Audrey, Dad. Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick! Ellen Griswold: Oh - we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake. Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude? Clark: Clark. Aunt Edna: I thought so. Whew! Well am I gonna eat, or am I gonna starve to death? [Delivering the eulogy for Aunt Edna, flatly] Clark: O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great dispair. Yea, admit this kind and decent woman into thy arms of thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he lay us upon the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give her a break. Ellen Griswold: Clark... Clark: Honey, I'm not an ordained minister; I'm doing my best. Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant? Dog killer! Aunt Edna: Clark, Dinkins needs a long walk and a bath. Clark: Rusty take care of Dinkins. Rusty: Dad he bites. Clark: Bite him back. Clark: Despite all the little problems it's fun isn't it? Ellen Griswold: No. But with every new day there's fresh hope. Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone? Rusty: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna. Clark: Hey you can't prove that Russ. Lasky: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once. Rusty: What happened? Lasky: I threw up. Clark Griswald: Ed, this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with C.B. and optional rally fun pack. Ed, the car salesman: You didn't order the Metallic Pea? Ellen Griswald: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun. Clark Griswald: No, it isn't. Clark Griswald: When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun. Clark Griswald: [talking about Aunt Edna]She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen Griswald: Oh, no. You can't just put her on the roof. Audrey Griswald: Yes, he can! Clark Griswald: You want me to strap her to the hood? She'll be fine. It's not as if it's going to rain or something. Cousin Eddie: Hey, you look like you could use a cool one. Clark: Now you're talking! [Eddie hands Clark his opened beer he'd been drinking, gets a fresh one for himself] Cousin Eddie: [at the cookout] Aunt Edna! Supper's gettin' cold! Clark Griswald: [to Ellen] Is that *your* Aunt Edna? [Ellen slinks away from the table] Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news? Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to. Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine? Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix! [Clark begins choking on his hamburger] The Girl in the Ferrari: It's too bad you're married... I'm in the mood for some fun! Rusty Griswold: That was a crummy Wyatt Earp dad. He was wearing jogging shoes. Clark: They used to Rusty. Ellen Griswold: Lord, we loved this woman with all our heart. Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom. Ellen Griswold: Shut up. Rusty Griswold: Dad, this isn't the car you ordered. Clark: Settle down Russ. Ed, uh, this is not the car I ordered. Clark: [after being in the desert for too long, Clark begins to go insane] Taxi! Taxi! Here boy! Clark: [to the campground cashier] 37 dollars for three tents? Cousin Dale: [to Rusty] Do you ever "bop your baloney"? [Clark has just been pulled over by a Colorado motorcycle cop] Clark: Hi officer, what's the problem? Motorcycle Cop: Get out of the car! [Clark exits from the car] Clark: I don't think I was speeding. Was I weaving or something? Motorcycle Cop: Shut your mouth, sir! You know, if I weren't in uniform, I'd split your skull with the butt of this revolver faster than you can say, "police brutality!" Clark: Well whatever I did, I'm sure I can explain... [the motorcycle cop forcibily takes Clark by the arm and leads him to the rear of the car, which has a dog leash still tied to it] Motorcycle Cop: Explain this, you son-of-a-bitch! Clark: Oh my God... Aunt Edna: I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles! Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to... Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty! Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He... Clark: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids... [the motorcycle cop appears at the car window with the dog leash] Motorcycle Cop: Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road. Ellen Griswold: Clark, I need my vanity case. We've got to go back and look for it. All of my credit cards are in it. Clark: Honey, Number 1: I already phoned the bank and told them about your credit cards. B: there's no way we're going to find it when we don't even know were it fell off. And 3: I've got my credit cards and we sill have plenty of cash. Ellen Griswold: No, we don't. You gave $500 to Eddie, and everything on this little safari has cost us twice as more then you figured out. Clark: Honey, we're fine. Plus there's nothing in that luggage that can't be replaced. Except... your diaphragm. Worse comes to worse, we can always cash a check down the road. Don't you trust me? Ellen Griswold: As long as you don't tie me to the rear bumper. Clark: That hurt, Ellen. Ellen Griswold: [leaving the house] I turned off the water, the stove, the heat and the air, locked the door, notified the police, stopped the papers. I called to get the grass cut. Did I put the timers on the living-room lights? Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss. Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that. Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it. Clark: Oh, you can't think I'd do this on purpose? Look... I tied him to the rear bumper while I was packing the car. It was very confusing. I must have forgot. I'm very sorry, I feel terrible. Motorcycle Cop: How do you think that little dog feels? Clark: Look, I told you I was sorry. It really was an accident. Motorcycle Cop: Well, I guess I can buy that, sir. But it is a shame. I had a pooch like this when I was a kid. [both Clark and the motorcycle cop sorrowfully look at the empty road behind them] Motorcycle Cop: Poor little guy. Probably kept up with you for a mile or so. [tearing up] Motorcycle Cop: Tough little mutt... [after jumping into the freezing-cold pool] Clark: Aaaaaah! Jesus! Fuck! [Clark punches the Marty Moose statue] Ellen Griswold: Clark, what are you doing? Clark: We watch his program... We buy his toys, we go to his movies... he owes us. Doesn't he owe us, huh? Fuckin' A right he owes us! Clark Griswald: [to the Dodge City bartender] Hey Knucklehead, set us up with four Red eye's will ya? [the bartender ignors him] Clark Griswald: Hey Yellabelly, I'm talking to you! [the bartender glares at Clark] Clark Griswald: Hey Tender foot, move your chicken wings turkey! [the bartender angrily glares at Clark] Ellen Griswold: Clark, that's not nice. Clark Griswald: Relax, it's all part of the act. [to the bartender] Hey Underpants... [the bartender pulls out a double-barrled shotgun and shoots Clark!] Clark: I don't give a frogs fat ass who went through what. We need money. |
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