Information
| Year: | 2002 |
| Rating: | 6.1(30780) |
| Listed in: | Comedy, Romance |
| Directed by: | Walt Becker |
| Actors: | Ryan Reynolds Tim Matheson Kal Penn Teck Holmes Daniel Cosgrove Tara Reid |
| "The Tradition Continues" | |
Cast
| Directed by | |
|---|---|
| Walt Becker | |
| Actors | |
| Ryan Reynolds | as Van Wilder |
| Tim Matheson | as Vance Wilder Sr. |
| Kal Penn | as Taj Mahal Badalandabad |
| Teck Holmes | as Hutch |
| Daniel Cosgrove | as Richard Bagg |
| Deon Richmond | as Mini Cochran |
| Alex Burns | as Gordon |
| Paul Gleason | as Professor McDoogle |
| Erik Estrada | as Himself |
| Curtis Armstrong | as Campus Cop |
| Jason Winer | as Panos Patakos |
| Chris Owen | as Suicidal Freshman |
| Simon Helberg | as Vernon |
| Aaron Paul | as Wasted Guy |
| Jason Hopkins | as Sick Boy |
| Mark Chaet | as Business Manager |
| Michael Waltman | as Coach Ken Massey |
| Michael Olowokandi | as Leron |
| Darius Miles | as Darius |
| Quentin Richardson | as Quentin |
| Lamar Odom | as Coolidge Chickadee Player |
| Nick Puga | as Pimply Faced Freshman |
| Joshua Swanson | as Annoyingly Peppy Freshman |
| Ronald Hunter | as Gus |
| Jeremy Phillips | as Overweight Freshman |
| Harry Danner | as Dr. Beeverman |
| Tom Howard | as Gwen's Dad |
| John Colton | as Dr. Henke |
| J. Patrick McCormack | as Dean Mooney |
| Gregg Daniel | as English Professor |
| Christopher Sowers | as Thin Pledge |
| Colin Campbell | as Archive Guy |
| Willie Latimore | as Ming Impersonator |
| Sean Marquette | as Little Kid |
| Albert Owens | as Another Doctor |
| Anderson Goncalves | as Dorky Brother |
| Erik Aude | as Martial Arts Freshman |
| Travis McKenna | as Milty |
| Lou Beatty Jr. | as Library Man |
| Andrew Bilgore | as Party Busting Cop |
| Brent Goldberg | as Freshman Interviewee 1 |
| David Wagner | as Freshman Interviewee 2 |
| Chad Evans | as Stoner Freshman |
| Brandon Kessel | as College Kid |
| Ryan Carlberg | as Worried Preppy Freshman |
| Matt Newton | as Male Sophomore |
| Dan Beck | as Lamda geek |
| Walt Becker | as Fireman |
| Sean Brennan | as Shoeshine DIK |
| Chad Brokaw | as DIK Brother |
| Scott Cappelli | as Rollerskater |
| Soren Fulton | as 10 Year Old Boy |
| Reid Godshaw | as Drunk Boy |
| Marc S. Gordon | as Student Leader |
| Sean Gordon | as Rollerskater |
| Christopher D. Grace | as Drunken Frat Guy |
| Kelly Hayes | as Luau Party Guy |
| Jesse Heiman | as Student on Couch |
| Edward Jaszek | as Cool Student |
| Justin Neill | as Frat Guy |
| Alex Nesic | as ROTC Student |
| Louis E. Rosas | as Drag Queen |
| Steffen Schlachtenhaufen | as Student Bartender |
| Tom Everett Scott | as Elliot Grebb |
| Skyler Stone | as Test Taker |
| Charlie Talbert | as Stomach Guy |
| Billy Taylor | as Student |
| Nathan Todaro | as Skating Rink Geek |
| Dave Vandermeuse | as Cowboy Lamda Brother |
| Josh Waters | as College Student on Campus Tour |
| Nik Wilcox | as Sychophant |
| Natan Zahavi | |
| Actresses | |
| Tara Reid | as Gwen Pearson |
| Emily Rutherfurd | as Jeannie |
| Ivana Bozilovic | as Naomi |
| Kim Smith | as Casey |
| Teresa Hill | as Hot Female Doctor |
| Megan Gallagher | as Holyoke Hottie |
| Lydia Hull | as Lindsey |
| Cynthia Fancher | as Ms. Haver |
| Jesse Capelli | as Desiree |
| Darcy Shean | as Gwen's Mom |
| Sophia Bush | as Sally |
| Lauren Birkell | as Cheesy TV Announcer |
| Teesha Lobo | as Hot Indian Girl |
| Cheryl Bricker | as Mrs. Henke |
| Sterling Rice | as Little Girl |
| Anne Varnishung | as Gorgeous Secretary |
| Sarah Fairfax | as Mrs. Seay |
| Alexia Chiaromonte | as Stunning Co-Ed Freshman |
| Edie McClurg | as Campus Tour Guide |
| Joyce Brothers | as Herself |
| Shaina Fewell | as Hot Senior |
| Megan Litwin | as Hotter Friend |
| Sarah Paul | as Terri |
| Michelle Thomas | as Sherri |
| Sirin Suprasert | as Suk Mee |
| Megan Baker | as Student |
| Victoria Blackburn | as Van's Friend |
| Heather Charles | as Luau Girl |
| Summer Moore | as Pajama Party-Goer |
| Bonnie Morgan | as Twisted Auditioner |
| Deenah Patterson | as Even Hotter Senior |
| Jennifer Schlueter | as Student |
| Cassie Townsend | as Student |
| Greta Valenti | as Hot Roller Girl |
Movie info
| Languages: | English |
| Budget: | USD 6,000,000 |
| Gross: |
USA - 7,302,913 USD (7 April 2002) UK - 707,783 GBP (29 September 2002) Italy - 886,378 EUR (27 April 2003) Spain - 179,124 EUR (10 August 2002) |
| Plot: | Reid is a beautiful journalist, who is assigned the job of interviewing the most popular guy on campus, Van Wilder. Van should have graduated long ago, but stays on to create the best time for anyone who requests it. When Gwen finally encounters Van, she makes him realize that he might be afraid to graduate. |
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Original Soundtracks
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"Authority Song" Written and Performed by Jimmy Eat World Courtesy of DreamWorks Records Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "At Auntie Tom's" Written by John Richard, Keith Townshend, Roger Charlery, Matthew Machin Performed by Fuzz Townshend Courtesy of Stinky Records "How Does It Feel" Written and Performed by Sugarcult Courtesy of Ultimatum Music, LLC "Makes No Difference" Written by Deryck Whibley, Greig Nori Performed by Sum 41 Courtesy of Island Def Jam Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "We Got" Written by B. Chijoke, P. Mah, D. Betmead, B. Ellis, Intellect aka Red Cloud Performed by The Nextmen Courtesy of Sugarool Under License from 75 Ark Entertainment "My Niggaz" Written and Performed by Curtis Washington, Kendrick Whitmill, DeJohn Brooks, William London Thompson Courtesy of MasterSource Music Catalog, Inc. "Things Are Getting Better" Written by Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo Performed by N.E.R.D. Courtesy of Virgin Records America, Inc. "V Groove" Written and Performed by Robb Vallier "Bouncing Off the Walls" Written by Tim Pagnotta Performed by Sugarcult Courtesy of Ultimatum Music, LLC "Get a Taste" Written by Steve Summers , Mike Summers, Chuck Riley, Tony Delocht, Irnie Longoria Performed by Sprung Monkey Under License from Surfdog Records/Redline Entertainment "Too Much Too Soon" Written by Ben Morton Performed by Llama Courtesy of MCA Records Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "I'm A Fool" Written by Stacy Jones Performed by American Hi-Fi Courtesy of Island Def Jam Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "Turn Me On" Written by Andrew McCluskey, Stewart Kershaw Performed by Atomic Kitten Courtesy of Virgin Records, Ltd./Virgin Records America, Inc. "Right Now" Written by Andrew McCluskey, Stewart Kershaw Performed by Atomic Kitten Courtesy of Virgin Records, Ltd./Virgin Records America, Inc. "Super Trooper" Written by Max Hsu Performed by Superchic[k] Courtesy of Inpop Records "Heartbeat" Written by X. Boyer Performed by Tahiti 80 Courtesy of Minty Fresh Under License from Atmospheriques "Radio Song" Written by Kenny Scott, Denny Scott, Guy Erez, Emerson Swinford Performed by Swirl 360 "Bleed American" Written and Performed by Jimmy Eat World Courtesy of DreamWorks Records Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "Little Man" Written by Sia Furler, Sam Frank Performed by Sia Furler (as Sia) Courtesy of Long Lost Brother Records "Walking on the Moon" Written and Performed by David May Courtesy of MasterSource Music Catalog, Inc. "Let It Go" (Epic Club Remix) Written by Drew Todd, Miragee Performed by Kool De Sac & Miragee Courtesy of QD Music/Wild West Entertainment, Inc. "Don't Look Now" Written by Patrick Tuzzolino (as P. Tuzzolino), Michael Sherwood (as M. Sherwood), Julius Robinson (as J. Robinson) Performed by Patrick Tuzzolino Courtesy of Skywriter Productions, LLC "Jack She's on the Ball" Written by William York Performed by Sugar Ray Norcia (as Sugar Ray) Courtesy of Bull's Eye Blues & Jazz Under License from Rounder Records "Rave Workout" Written and Performed by Brandon D'Amore Courtesy of Tunedge Music "Girl on the Roof" Written and Performed by David Mead Courtesy of The RCA Records Label, a unit of BMG Entertainment Under License from BMG Special Products "Stumblin' In" Written by Michael Chapman , Nicolas Chinn (as Nicky Chinn) Performed by Suzi Quatro & Chris Norman Courtesy of Chinnichap Records/The RCA Records Label, a Unit of BMG Entertainment Under License from BMG Special Products "Do-Si-Do" Written by Rod Sherwood, Daniel Berhaph, Mark McAdam, Pete McNeal, Kit Pongetti Performed by Sumac Courtesy of V2 Records, Inc. "Show Me" Written by Bertha Egnos (as Egnos), Gail Laiker (as Lakier), Chris Baker (as Maker), Neil Claxton (as Claxton) Performed by Mint Royale f/ Posdnous (as Pos) from De La Soul Courtesy of MCA Records Under License from Universal Music Enterprises "Never Going to Fly" Written by K. Boyce, T. Cook, M. Scerpella, S. Adams Performed by Bender "Saying Goodbye" Written and Performed by Sugarcult Courtesy of Ultimatum Music, LLC "You Get Me" Written by Michelle Branch (as M. Branch), John Shanks (as J. Shanks), Shelly Peiken (as S. Peiken), Abra Moore (as A. Moore) Performed by Michelle Branch Courtesy of Maverick Recording Co./Warner Bros. Records, Inc. By Arrangement with Warner Special Products "Okay" Written by Kenny Scott, Denny Scott, Tonio K. (as Tonio K) Performed by Swirl 360 "Start Over" Written by Tommy Walter (as Thommy Walter), Pete Pagonis Performed by Abandoned Pools Courtesy of Extasy Records International "I'm All Out Of Love" Written by Clive Davis , Graham Russell Performed by Air Supply Courtesy of Arista Records, Inc./EMI Records Under License from EMI-Capitol Music Special Markets "Blue Note" Written by Scooter Pietsch, Sidney James Courtesy of Abaco Music Library "Stuck in America" Written and Performed by Sugarcult Courtesy of Ultimatum Music, LLC "It's Like This" Written and Performed by Dante MacKay "Forgot Your Name" Written by Bird Performed by Bird 3 Courtesy of Immergent Records "Roll On" Written by Chris Cheney Performed by The Living End Courtesy of Reprise Records/EMI Music Australia Pty Ltd. By Arrangement with Warner Special Products "Hello" Written by Les Farrington, Daniel Harville Performed by Sugarbomb Courtesy of The RCA Records Label, a unit of BMG Entertainment Under License from BMG Special Products "Blind Spot" Written by Joe Montgomery, Zack Baldauf Performed by Transmatic Courtesy of Immortal Records, LLC By Arrangement with Virgin Records America, Inc. "Stand Up and Win" Written and Performed by Spymob |
Goofs
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Continuity: The top button of Richard Bagg's shirt during the final exam alternates between open and closed between shots. Continuity: Van's doodle repeatedly flips over between shots when Van visits Gwen in the women's locker room. Continuity: Van's right hand is alternately on/off of steering wheel knob between shots when Gwen, with a rain coat on, meets Van in the golf cart. SYNC: When the nerds are playing Ms. Pac Man, we hear the sound of Pac-Man dying when Ms. Pac Man dies. SYNC: The sound made by the buttons on the Sony 900mHz phone that Van uses to call Gwen is of a higher pitch than the sound the phone really makes. Continuity: Gwen's hair moves around between shots when she is walking with Van trying to convince him to let her do the article on him. Continuity: When Richard Bagg defecates in the trash can towards the end, his shirttail alternates from outside the can to inside. Continuity: Taj's right arm when he, Van, and Hutch are riding in the golf cart. Continuity: When Van and Gwen are talking in the ice rink, the positioning of Gwen's face changes from looking at Van to looking down, to looking straight ahead. CHAR: Burned money is still legal tender as long as 51% is identifiable. the US treasury has a department that investigates damaged money and will issue replacements for the damaged money. Van shouldn't have to worry about needing more money. Continuity: Gwen's left arm in class before Van hands her a raincoat. Continuity: When Van is getting ready to run the Naked Mile Run, he supposedly takes off his underwear. However, his underwear is still showing after that shot. CHAR: When Taj is getting ready to give Naomi a massage, she tells him she likes the song on the stereo. Taj replies "It is the White Barry" (meaning Barry White). It's actually a song called "Stumblin' In" performed by Suzie Quatro and Chris Norman. Continuity: At the beginning of the movie their is a kid about to jump to his death at the top of one of the campus buildings. When Van approaches him to talk him down he has his hands crossed behind his back. In the next shot they are on his hips (apparently so that we can see that he has no pants on). One shot later, from the front view, his hands are folded behind his back again. Continuity: When Gwen sees Van naked while modeling, she is surprised by how he looks. However, she already knows what he looks like naked because she was at the Naked Mile Run. Fact errors: The calculus equation, *Integral*(dx/(x-x^)4/3)))=3Ln((x^(1/3))/(1-x^(1/3))+C, has no solution. In the movie, they say x=6, however, that is not the answer. GEOG: During Van's halftime speech, he says how he is going to invite girls from Mount Holyoke in Massachusetts, yet the logo on the basketball court is for the Big Sky, a conference in the Northwestern United States Continuity: When Richard and Gwen are finished having sex, he puts his pants on while he's still lying on the bed. In the next shot he gets up and puts his underwear on again. SYNC: When Van is telling Taj that he can no longer afford to pay for his services, Hutch and the dog change positions many times. SYNC: When Naomi is taking off her shirt on the bed with Taj, you hear audio of her talking but her mouth is closed. Continuity: In the girls locker room Van Wilder holds up a yellow paper sheet. Seen from the front it is serrated. When clipping to a hind view the paper shifts to having a straight edge. Revealing mistakes: When Gwen calls Van toward the end of the movie and he unplugs the phone, you hear a dial tone on her end of the phone. If you unplug a phone, the person on the other end will just hear it continue to ring. It would not disconnect the call. Fact errors: When Gwen is helping Richard study, he tells her his "mid-term and finals ritual" : He studies until 11, 9 solid hours of sleep, protein shake in the morning. And the he says "which gives us 2 hours and 53 minutes of study time". If he goes to bed at 11pm, that would mean it's 8.07pm when they are studying, yet we can clearly see outside is still bright daylight. |
Quotes
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Van Wilder: Are you stalking me? Because that would be super. Van Wilder: [while standing pantless next to the freshman] But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down. Suicidal Freshman: I don't have a pen. Van Wilder: Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you. Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here? Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know! Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be. Gwen: And how many times has your heart led you into the women's locker room? Van Wilder: This would be a first. Gwen: Why do I find that hard to believe? Van Wilder: I'm not saying this is the first time I've been in here, just usually it is another part of my anatomy that does the leading. [repeated line, after giving advice] Van Wilder: Write that down. Van Wilder: All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down. Look at me. No cock pump. Taj: No cock pump. Barry White. Van Wilder: Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Van Wilder: The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies. Van Wilder: Don't be a fool, stay in school! Van Wilder: What is wrong with people today? Hutch: [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet dude, it fries their brain cells. Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant. Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk. Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder. Vance Wilder, Sr.: Van is still in school? Assistant: For the better part of a decade. Campus Cop: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to back away from Van's vehicle! Vance Wilder, Sr.: Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy. Van Wilder: Take your clothes off. Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes. Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit. [a hairy naked guy runs by] Van Wilder: Except that guy. [after a stripper farts in their face] Van Wilder: Congratulations Taj, your first blow job! Van Wilder: Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. Van Wilder: Crazy kids with their crazy VDs. Hutch: I've got a plan. Let's go get fucked up. Van Wilder: Sounds good. Van Wilder: I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows. Panos Patakos: Nobody even knows we're here. Van Wilder: Au contraire, mon freres. Van Wilder: I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla oblongatas. Van Wilder: Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards. Richard: You're going to miss the biggest party of the year! [Crickets chirp] Jeannie: This party so rocks, Richard! Richard: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie! Panos Patakos: How do you put a price on dignity? Friend: How do you put a price on poonani? Van Wilder: Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on? Richard: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party. Van Wilder: Graphic. Richard: Gwen, what are you doing here? Van Wilder: You two know each other? Richard: That's my girlfriend, gluteus erecti. Van Wilder: You shouldn't take life to seriously. You'll never get out alive. Richard: Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now! [grunts and giggles] Gwen: Are you okay? Richard: Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you? Gwen: Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds. Richard: Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams. Gwen: I'm sorry. Richard: Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that? Gwen: You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. Richard: [laughs] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group. Van Wilder: if you're always thinking about the future, then you kinda forget about the present. Van Wilder: Blue - it brings out your eyes. The kid has killer eyes, not unlike yourself - anyone ever tell you that? Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend. Van Wilder: Your boyfriend? What's his name? Gwen: I don't think that's any of your business. Van Wilder: [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right Van Wilder: Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! [under his breath] Not that you had to. Van Wilder: Wow, If he's here, who's running hell? Van Wilder: Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attended class today just about stayed the whole time too! Gwen: I'm glad you went to all your classes today. Van Wilder: And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed. Gwen: That's great! Gwen: I'm doing a human interest piece... on you. Van Wilder: I'm flattered, I'd love for your piece to be on me. [looks up at the ceiling and sighs]... But sadly I don't do interviews, never have, never will. Do lunch though. Richard: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year? Van Wilder: Actually, its lucky number seven. Taj: [Jumps up] WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT? Hutch: In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but the damn thing won't light. Taj: That's no bong... It's for my shlong. [Hutch starts coughing and gagging] Hutch: Hold up, I just put my mouth on your cock-pump? [Taj nods his head] Hutch: Oh damn! Gwen: Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person. [Van looks shocked] Van Wilder: Like what? Campus Cop: We've got a jumper! [ink blot test] Stoner Freshman: I see a rabbi, and he's performing a circumcision... on himself though. Van Wilder: Well, you haven't lived until you've shot-putted blitzed on Jager!" Van Wilder: I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake! Taj: Is that all you people think about? Now, I admit I applied for this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump, but I do not believe that this dilemma can be solved by partying. Taj: You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home while masturbating in my father's woodshed. Van Wilder: All this time I thought I was more to you than a flaccid story. Van Wilder: It's a date. Gwen: It's an interview, not a date. Van Wilder: Gwen, first dates are interviews. Van Wilder: Dinner for two. Me and you. Clothing optional. Van Wilder: You think about the future too much and you kinda forget about the present. Obviously. Van Wilder: Hey look. I read the damn article all right. But don't tell anyone because if word gets out that I read my reputation shot to hell. Taj: Doesn't she have a boyfriend? Van Wilder: Details. Only details. McDoogle: Ok, Wilder. Let's dance. Van Wilder: It's a good day to die, McDoogle. Van Wilder: If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team. Van Wilder: We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity. [while having sex with Jeannie] Richard: P.S. Shut the fuck up! [after tasting Jager] Kid: This tastes like shit! You got any scotch? [after the dog farted in the tub & his testicles floated to the top] Van: These things could raise the Titanic! McDoogle: This is some pad Wilder... Decorated in early fuck! Richard: You do not call her that, Gonad! Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder? Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"! Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks. Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps. Van Wilder: What's that intoxicating scent you're wearing Doris? Ms. Doris Haver: I have cats. Van Wilder: Meow! Sally: [straddling Van and kissing him, turns around and sees Gwen walk into Van's room] You must be Gwen, the truck driver Van Wilder: Gwen? [chases her outside] Gwen: What were you doing up there? Van Wilder: As smashed as I am, I'm pretty sure that was my room... Van Wilder: [looking back] Van Wilder: Wasn't it? Gwen: What was that girl, a freshman? Van Wilder: She reads at a sophomore level. [Ms. Haver takes a long swig on some liquor] Ms. Doris Haver: Oh yeah... that's the shit! Van Wilder: You know... I think I'm getting a little coldsore come on... so maybe we shouldn't do this for 3 to 6 weeks? Ms. Doris Haver: Shut up, bitch and give me some sugar! McDoogle: I've been waiting all these years for you to realize your potential. Van Wilder: That's why you and I had friction? God, I always thought it was 'cause, 'cause I fooled around with your daughter freshman year. McDoogle: Why, what... You fooled around with my daughter? Van Wilder: What? [Stripper farts, blowing white powder over Van, Hutch and Taj. There is a pause before Van whoops and claps in applause] Van Wilder: Taj, your first blow job! Taj: In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases is considered the ultimate aphrodisiac! Jeannie: Then we bumped uglies. It was the best ten seconds ever. Van Wilder: Those circus midgets can NOT hold their booze! Van Wilder: I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I know you were right. Believing for so long. Sally: Dope song. What's it called? Van Wilder: Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe... and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck. Originally performed by Air Supply. Vance Wilder, Sr.: Excuse me? Can you tell me where I might find the 'Radest fucking dude alive'? Gwen: Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge? Van Wilder: Carry the two, yes that's correct. Van Wilder: I'm sorry, fellas. The bakery's closed. Van Wilder: [while the dog is walking away, and his balls have shrunk] Looks like all he needed was a little TLC Richard: How bad do you want to be a Delta? Would you stand on broken glass? Let the shards into your Archilles tendon, causing acute achondroplasia, which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older? Law Club Member: It's ridicoulous, it's preposterous, it's ludicrous... By God it's impetuous! Hutch: So does that mean you gonna help us? Law Club Member: Oh it's on! Gwen: Relax, guys. They're just Doritos. Gwen: Is Van here? Hutch: He don't want to see you. Gwen: Excuse me? Hutch: Look. Why don't you just leave him alone? Sick Boy: Home-wrecker. Van Wilder: [speaking about Gwen's boyfriend Richard] I'll bet he's a tighty whitey guy. Gwen: Excuse me? Van Wilder: White, elastic band, constricting. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you - granny panties I bet. Gwen: Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type? Van Wilder: Mmmm, no. Van Wilder: [sighs] Van Wilder: I just wanted the visual. Van Wilder: Was that a... [looks away and points] Judges ruling? Uh huh. Yeah. [looks back] I do believe that was a joke. Van Wilder: You guys have had the best GPS the last 50 years. Panos Patakos: Indeed. But believe it or not, best GPA doesn't get you laid. Van Wilder: Damn well should. Taj: We are truly up the Ganga river without a bamboo oar. Vance Wilder, Sr.: You have wasted enough of your time and my money. So pack up your panties, son, because we are heading home. Van Wilder: I'm sorry, Taj. I'm gonna have to let you go. I don't have the resources to pay for your services anymore. Taj: A good soldier does not leave his commander just because he lies wounded, arms torn off at the sockets, intestines spilling out onto the mud, picked at by the birds. I will stay on at no charge. |
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